Grown

You know that you've finally become an adult when:


You'll happily spend £30 on a candle for the living room but question spending £30 on a night out.

Your satnav takes you on the scenic route to Nottingham and it ends up taking an hour longer than you're used to but you don't even mind because the scenery in the Derbyshire Dales is just so beautiful that it takes your breath away.

You finally accept that you really should have your bra size checked, even though the results will probably mean that the pretty lingerie in high street shops will be out of bounds forever. Damn you, boobs.

A night in with a really good bottle of wine, your boyfriend and a plate of cheese and biscuits is the most heavenly prospect on this earth.

You suddenly have a job that terrifies you, exhausts you and makes you want to run away and work in a cake shop. But then you accept that, really, most people feel like that, most of the time.

You spend your Sunday mornings being woken up by the children of your friends and you don't even mind. Well, not too much.

You realise that the things on your birthday list include a joint membership to the National Trust, a Kenwood Kitchenaid and a new dining room rug.


Thankfully, there will always be ridiculous clothes to make you feel like a child again...

And by "you", I clearly mean "me."


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The Girls' Guide To: Pulling Yourself Out Of A Funk

♥ Get a dog called Daisy. She will make it impossible for you to feel sad when she's around. She will leap on your knee, attempt to lick your face and make you feel like you're the most important person in the world. All just because you've come home from work

♥ Put your favourite music on full blast. Dance. Sing. Cry. Laugh. Just feel. For the last few months I've spent so long feeling numb. Anything is better than numb, for me at least

♥ Make plans. Plan weekends away, nights out, days out, holidays, dinners with friends. Make the effort to get in touch with people you don't see often enough. It's so tempting to hide away when you're feeling low but this will only result in you reaching for that second tub of Ben & Jerry's. That, my friends, is a COLD, HARD FACT

♥ Smile at strangers. Seriously. Some will think you're crazy but a lot will smile back. Sharing a smile with a complete stranger is one of my favourite ways to brighten up my day

♥ Put on your favourite dress and a pair of killer heels. Even if it's only to go to the shop in. Or even just to stay in, in. I hoovered in my favourite French Connection dress and a full face of make up the other day. Oh yes I did

♥ Have a party for one on your sofa. Get a DVD of your favourite TV series (fyi, Peep Show, Monkey Dust, Inbetweeners, Oz, Law & Order: SVU and The City all work for me), grab some nail varnish, a face pack, some snacks (crisps if I'm being bad, fresh berries if I'm being virtuous) and bask in the glory of a day spent doing nothing at all

♥ Run. Swim. Exercise. It never fails to make me feel better. If I haven't done any exercise for a while then I know I'm not in a good place because, for me, nothing lifts my spirits quite like feeling that I'm doing something good for me. A boozy dance off comes a close second though, obviously

♥ Go for a walk and take some photographs. Write a letter and fill it with glitter. Paint a picture and hang it on the wall. Bake a cake and give it to your friends or work colleagues. Creativity is an excellent funk-getter-outer-of

♥ Do some volunteer work. There's nothing quite like helping someone else to lift your mood and make you feel pretty damn good. Win-win situation

♥ And, finally... accept that it's ok to not be ok. Don't beat yourself up about it or feel like you're alone. You're not. If you need to wallow, wallow. But limit the wallowing. Give yourself an end date. 

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye!

1) Was 2010 a good year for you?
It was wonderful, in virtually every way. I'm sure it had its low points but, looking back, all I see is happiness and good, positive changes. My Dad's cancer is under control and he's getting back to the man he was before the illness. I own my own house and, although there's a long way to go, it's starting to take shape. I'm no longer unhappy with the way I look and I can now wear leather shorts without fear of being harpooned.

2) What were your favourite moments of the year?
Having dinner at Butter in NYC and three women sending over champagne to our table. My Dad being able to help me decorate my house. The whole holiday to Barcelona. And, although it was right at the end, New Year's Eve!

3) What was your least favourite moment of the year?
Being let down by someone I considered a close friend. However, onwards and upwards!

4) Where were you when 2010 began?
In the gay village. Obviously.

5) Who were you with?
Friends and an assortment of decadent gays.

6) Where will you be when 2010 ends?
I was in a little cafe bar. We won the Quiz of the Year and our prize was 6 litres of scrumpy. Oh yeah. One of the best New Year's Eves ever.

7) Who will you be with when 2010 ends?
I was with some of my favourite people in the world.

8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2010?
They were "Just to continue on my road of self discovery (I'm aware that makes me sound like a tosser) and lose weight. Slimming World here I come." Both achieved. A+, good work. Ooh, also my 'plans for 2010' were "To travel a bit, work a bit, live a bit, love a bit, laugh a bit and buy my own house." DONE AND DONE.

9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2011?
I want to hit my target at Slimming World (which is slightly further away post Christmas), get fitter (I'm running the Great Manchester Run in May), blog more and be better with money.

10) Did you fall in love in 2010?
I fell in love with my life.

11) If yes, with who?
See above. There may not be a special someone in my life right now but I'm happier than I've ever been.

12) If yes, do they know?
N/A

13) Are you still in love with them?
Currently I am more in love with my life than ever. I'm sitting in my own house, drinking espresso, eating satsumas and catching up on Christmas television. Love.

14) You regret it?
I never regret love, even when it gets me in trouble.

15) Did you breakup with anyone in 2010?
Nope. I had a few dates here and there, but they didn't really go anywhere. I just wasn't interested.

16) Did you make any new friends in 2010?
Yes! I met a lot of incredible people that I know through this blog or Twitter and had some wonderful times with them. Plus new people at work and a few others that appeared along the way.

17) Who are your favourite new friends?
Ah, I don't pick favourites. My London lovelies and my Scottish sweethearts know who they are.

18) What was your favourite month of 2010?
June I think. Glastonbury, hot hot sun and lots of fun times. December was also pretty special though as that's when I moved into the palace.

19) Did you travel outside of your country of residence in 2010?
New York! Barcelona! Paris (on the way to New York!) and Edinburgh!

20) How many different states/provinces did you travel to in 2010?
Again, I'm not an American. I went to one state and three different countries. I want to travel more next year but, the way my bank balance is looking, I'm not sure I can justify it.

21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2010?
Nope!

22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
Of course. My Nottingham crew and various friends scattered around the country.

23) What was your favourite movie that you saw in 2010?
Toy Story 3 and Precious (although, was that last year?). I didn't see that many films this year, not that I can remember anyway.

24) What was your favourite song from 2010?
Tenderoni - Kele, Regenerate - Booka Shade, Turn My Swag On - Soulja Boy, I'm In Love - Alex Gaudino and Wonderful Life - Hurts. They all remind me of very happy times.

25) What was your favourite record from 2010?
'The Boxer' by Kele Okereke. and 'Progress' by Take That. Both make me immeasurably happy.

26) How many concerts did you see in 2010?
Hardly any! Marina and the Diamonds, Kele Okereke (twice), MIA, Kelis, Glastonbury Festival.

27) Did you have a favourite concert in 2010?
Kele Okereke at Leeds Cockpit. Incredible. Oh, and seeing the Pet Shop Boys at Glastonbury. Blew. My. Mind.

28) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2010?
Nowhere near as much as last year. My new found slimming regime didn't really allow for it and I often went three weeks without a drink.

29) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2010?
I drank a lot of lemsip. 2010 was the year of the cold.

30) How many people did you sleep with in 2010?
A lady doesn't kiss and tell.

31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
For the first time ever, I don't think so! Bar the usual drunken escapades, I was fairly well behaved this year.

32) Where did most of your money go?
Tax, national insurance and pension. Ugh. Also, my house and the holiday to New York. Oh, and clothes. Losing five stone in weight necessitates a new wardrobe though, right?

33) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2010?
I'm not aware of any lies. So either everyone I know is a very good liar, or they're all saints.

34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2010?
No, I don't think so.

35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2010?
Yes. I'm still not really sure what I did to deserve it either. C'est la vie!

36) How much money did you spend in 2010?
A lot. Hence why one of my resolutions for 2011 is to be better with money.

37) What was your proudest moment of 2010?
Probably winning Woman of the Year at my Slimming World group. Or getting promoted in March. Or losing over five stone. Or finally getting the keys to my very own house. 2010 was incredible.

38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2010?
Falling flat on my face in Butter, New York. In front of a full dining room. And then being helped up by the waiter. Mortifying. I wasn't even drunk, just clumsy.

39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2010 and change something, what would it be?
I honestly wouldn't change a thing.

40) What are your plans for 2011?
Embrace new opportunities, live life to the full, run a 10k race and not die, throw lavish dinner parties, eat well and take care of myself, laugh A LOT, kiss inappropriate boys and dance like noone's watching. Hurrah. I'd also like to develop Clear Your Heart more and see where it can take me.


See last year's list here, and 2008's list here.

Bank Holiday: Part Deux

 

Three ways to cure a Bank Holiday hangover:


1) Lots of blue sky and breakfast outside. Life savers include: cold water, babybels and green tea
2) Lots of fresh berries and yoghurt
3) Lots of sitting on the sofa and watching old episodes of friends


This weekend went by so fast I barely had time to blink. I honestly don't understand where the time went. Sitting at my desk at work this morning was utterly devastating. And I'm only half joking when I say that.

However, this weekend I wore over knee socks for the first time. So at least I achieved something. Again, only half joking when I say that. Getting my thighs out is still relatively new for me but I think over-stuffed-sausage-itis was avoided.


What did you get upto, my lovelies?

Roll up, roll up!

Things and stuff:


1 I've made a monumental mistake with regards to my monthly outgoings (I swear I am an adult, honest!) and now need to find £400 pretty quickly. It is with a heavy heart that I've decided that I need to sell my Christian Louboutins. The style is Miss Marple, they're a size 6 and they're completely unworn (they were always just slightly too big for me). £300 or your best offer. They originally retailed at $710 which I think is about £460. Any takers? Be quick, I'm very likely to change my mind.

2 This week at work has been MANIC. I feel like I've not stopped all week and am so ready for the weekend to be here. Working with numbers has really made my head hurt this week and I'm longing for a beach holiday. Cocktails, sun and sea are what I want. Alas, with the state of my bank balance I can't see it happening any time soon. Are you off on holiday soon? Where? Let me live vicariously through you.

3 The parents return from holiday tomorrow. This means that tonight will be spent frantically tidying and putting away the 25 pairs of shoes that I appear to have worn in the two weeks that they've been away. Also, hoovering, watering the plants (oops!), watching Gossip Girl and trying to avoid the siren call of the Ben & Jerry's that's stashed in the freezer.

4 Ask me questions! Any questions! Well, within reason. Obv.

10 things...

♥ 1 is because all I can think about is the iced lemonade I had at Glastonbury. There is nothing quite as thirst quenching.

♥ 2 is because I'm quite ignorant when it comes to flowers. Particularly wild ones. So I'd like to be able to name a few more.

♥ 3 is because it's time for a change. The raven has stayed for two years. It's time to move on.

♥ 4 is just because I really like fish. And I never seem to eat it. I fancy a lovely trout salad or a haddock risotto with a poached egg on top.

♥ 5 is because I haven't seen the sea for ages. I love the sea. It's so soothing.

♥ 6 is because I'm an indecisive, fickle woman girl at the moment. I need to decide what I'm doing and where I'm going.

♥ 7 is because... well, who doesn't love meringues, whipped cream and berries? A fool, that's who.

♥ 8 is because I haven't been getting enough exercise. My excuse is that it's too hot to go to the gym. It's not too hot to go walking though, so I must.

♥ 9 is because half my clothes are now too big for me. I don't intend on ever putting the weight back on so they've got to go. Charity shops and ebay here I come.

♥ 10 is because life is wonderful.

What do you want to do this summer?

Unicorn!

Today was a unicorn kind of day.


By that I mean I was in need of some serious cheering up this morning. Yesterday was a supremely stressful day at work. Turns out that getting promoted equals longer hours equals stress equals having a to do list longer than my arm equals ARGH. So I needed animal themed jewellery to get me through today. It worked a treat! Animal themed clothes and jewellery generally do. I'm a simple creature.

Other things that made my face happy today:

- A lovely package waiting for me when I got home. I love post. Also, a Dahlia coat that I've been lusting after for ages being delivered to work. I love getting things delivered to work. Presents at my desk can only ever be a good thing. Both to be featured in later posts.

- Marks & Spencer salmon and king prawns for lunch. I love a bit of fish.

- I passed my probation at the Samaritans and am now a fully fledged listening machine. I'm pretty chuffed to be honest. Eight months is actually a fairly short time to complete the training period. Hurrah.

- Jumping in my living room. Turns out it's actually quite hard to take a photo of yourself jumping. Fun though.

Skirt - ASOS

Shoes, cardigan and leggings - Dorothy Perkins

Necklace - Lisa Galibardy

Top and headband - Primark

Tired face - 11 hour days at work

Ich liebe...

Love is...


... Going to Edinburgh for the bank holiday weekend with some of my favourite ladies. I'm flying up and am ridiculously excited. I've never been on a plane on my own! Yes, I am a loser. Things I intend to do: drink Irn Bru, look up boys' kilts, dance my little socks off.
... My new Lazy Oaf t-shirt. Chicken drumsticks for the win.
... Glastonbury in four weeks time. Cider! Pieminister! Bands! Boys! Blistering sunshine! (Please?)
... Blogging. I am loving it at the moment. I've discovered some glorious blogs this week and I've got my blogging mojo back. Hurrah. (I've used the word blogging too much haven't I? Gah! And again!)
... Being able to fit into all the clothes in my wardrobe. For the first time ever. All those things that I bought and thought 'Ooh I'll slim into that' now actually fit me. Tre-mendous.
... Curly hair. For the first time in my life I'm embracing my natural curliness and I'm absolutely loving it.
... Smiling. It's my favourite.


I hope you all have a fabulous weekend! xxx

Mrs Bun the Baker

Oof, what a busy little bee I have been!


My boss (I am mini boss, she is big boss) is off for the next 3 and a half weeks. She's getting married. The cheek of it. I'm left running around like a headless chicken, files inexorably piling up at the end of my desk, fielding questions left, right and centre. I keep expecting everyone to realise that I'm actually not that good at my job, that I'm actually a child who's playing at being a grown up in her pencil skirts and her high heels. But apparently that's not going to happen. Apparently I'm coping rather well. Who knew.

The weekend mostly consisted of the following:

- Guitar Hero. How have I never played it before? How?! HOW?!! I love it. Lithium by Nirvana almost defeated me. Almost. I woke up yesterday morning with a claw for a hand (think Chandler from Friends playing Ms Pacman relentlessly) but I feel it's a small price to pay.

- Lovely booze. I spent yesterday in Manchester with G and M. It was sunny! There was gin! And a chicken salad (the less said about that the better. Everyone else had a burger and chips and I've never been so envious). There was also running (not by me, but by the participants in the Great Manchester Run).

- Not enough sleep. Again. Tut.

- Baking. I have discovered the perfect cookie recipe. It makes gloriously soft cookies with a slightly chewy centre. So I've been making batches of them. Super willpower woman I am though as I've only eaten a couple myself. The rest I've given to my parents and work colleagues.


What about you, my lovelies?

Bank Holiday joy

 
So, the Bank Holiday weekend then. How fast did that go?!


Things I did:

- Wore 5" heels and didn't fall over once. I did hobble though
- Met Scott Mills
- Ate Nandos. Oooohhhh Nandos, how I love you and your spicy goodness
- Celebrated the birthday of one of my BFFs by drinking homemade sambuca (just don't), shouting 'CRAB CRAB CRAB' to try and get people to do the crab, playing on an adventure playground (zip wires and slides whilst drunk, just do it) and eating limoncello ice cream cake (thanks to my super talented friend E)
- Went to the gym and ran for ten minutes straight. That may not sound like much but for someone as untalented at running as me I can assure you it's a big deal


Things I've done since:

- Got my two stone award at Slimming World. I've lost 30 pounds in total. Pretty pleased with that considering Barcelona, London and numerous gin and tonics.
- Saw Foals last night, supported by the rather wonderful Jonquil.


So, that's me. What about you?

Melons

Today I love:


Eating melon at my desk (Melons was my nickname at University, much to my chagrin)
Yellow shoes (always and forever)
Three shot iced skinny lattes
The Markus Lupfer lips jumper that will be winging its way to me very soon (I finally bought it, hurrah)
Tulips and daffodils in abundance, and.....

...... the SUN!!!


What about you, my little treasures?

Good things hunting

The Good:

Another promotion at work and a hefty payrise.
A weekend in London in April. (London people, let's hang!)
Barcelona, obv.
Northern Quarter drinking tomorrow night.
A selection weekend for the Festival Branch of the charity next week. In an old boarding school. Late night drinking and flouting of lights out rules ahoy!
A weekend in Nottingham in March. I miss it.
Glastonbury!


The Bad:

I've started having migraines. I had my first one about three weeks and I've had a couple since. Why?
Insomnia and resulting tiredness the next day is making life difficult.
I fear I may have taken on too much.
A shift at the charity tonight. I love it but today I'm just not in the mood. I want to lie in a darkened room.


The Ugly:

Well, nothing really. Life is beautiful.



Tell me yours! Do you have any exciting plans for the next few weeks? Any annoyances currently grinding your gears? Have a lovely weekend folks xx

Friday, cryday

I've been feeling a little bit weepy this week.


The reasons are varied and numerous but largely stem from the fact that I've not been sleeping much and/or very well. Also see: women's 'issues' (and the accompanying hormonal mania), work stress and, most ridiculously, the realisation that I can't remember what his voice sounds like. Silly, eh?

So, to cheer myself up here's a list of things that are currently making my eyes dance and my mouth grin:

• CHATROULOLZ. If you've not heard of Chat Roulette yet then where have you been? The concept is genius but I'm too terrified of seeing an old perv touching himself to actually try it myself. Or a young perv for that matter. Penises = just not that pretty. Sorry.
• This 'Ooh, cake time' mug. I may not be able to have cake at the moment but it doesn't stop me dreaming of that glorious day in the far off future when I can indulge myself and stick my head into a giant chocolate fudge cake. Yes, right into it. Like a trough.
• Daily Burn. It appeals to my complusive, obsessive nature. I like to be able to track the exercise I do, the amount I weigh and the amount I've lost. Graphs please me.
• Fennel tea; M&S grapefruits; Slimming World chips (they're really tasty, honestly); making rubber band balls; getting excited about Glastonbury even though there's still four months to go; exciting new writing opportunities; lighter mornings and finishing work before the sun sets; laughing, always; and.......

The fact that I'm going to Barcelona in seven weeks!!!!

Oh yes. My gorgeous friend N and I are heading off for a jaunt in April. The flights are booked and paid for. Things to do: find cheap accommodation, save some money, brace self for 4 days of tapas, booze and pure joy. Hurrah. I cannot wait. Hints, tips and recommendations will be gratefully accepted!


What are your plans for the weekend, my lovelies?

Fabulous Friday

Fridays are made of WIN.


To that end, and because I haven't done it for a while, I thought I'd compile a little list of things that have delighted me this week. I've got a ridiculously busy weekend ahead and won't be around much so I hope you all have a good one!


Things that are making my face super joyful:

• Things with my initial on. I love the letter H. Its symmetry pleases me. Necklaces, bags, big cardboard letters (see above).
  
• Sleep Talkin' Man. It's the blog that everyone (well, a lot of people anyway) is talking about. An English man who talks in his sleep. His American wife who records it and then posts about it. Hilarious. My particular favourite is "Big pig. Massive oink. Little curly tail", for obvious reasons. C used to talk in his sleep, much to my delight, although not on quite the same scale as STM. I've forgotten a lot of the things he said (should have written them down, darn it) but one that sticks in my mind is "Wake me up after the ceremony, but before the pudding." Occasionally we'd have conversations where he'd fall asleep in the middle and discourse (I always think that word looks rude, always) would take a surreal diversion. I kind of miss it. A lot. 
• Nancy & Betty. Their cards are gorgeous and I just want to buy them all. Alas I need to seriously curtail my spending for the time being as I have exciting things to save for.
• The wikipedia page for Bears, particularly the terminology part. I particularly like Sleepy Bear and Otter. Literally incredible.
• I ♥ Boxie. Lovely lovely t-shirts that have stories, sometimes heartbreaking, behind them. Can you guess which one I own?
• Other miscellaneous things include, but are not limited to... Mr Scruff's Big Chill tea - rooibos, pear and cinnamon. Yum! // my Dad's lack of stomach cancer, obviously // laughing at perverts who post comments on my Flickr photos // Covent Garden minestrone soup and Vogel's soya and linseed bread for lunch // tickets to see Passion Pit in March <3 // The Body Shop passionfruit body butter. I love to smell like fruit // the snow thawing, finally! 

"The greatest gift that I possess..."

My brain is filled with snow fog at the moment.


Seriously, I'm obsessed with it. Obsessed with it being -13, obsessed with the terrifying ice covering all the roads, obsessed with the ten inches of snow that still covers my back garden. OBSESSED. So, to save you all from yet more pictures of snow (forgive me just one) and more 'OMG it's snowing/it's snowed/is it going to snow' drama I thought I'd write a big list of happiness-inducing joy. Smidge passed on the Happy 101 award to me and what better way to pass a January evening than writing about happiness.

So.... "List 10 things that make you happy, try to do at least one of them today, and link back to the person that tagged you. Then tag 10 other bloggers that brighten your day."


My family and friends

Sappy, cliched but totally true. Last year was uncommonly rubbish for numerous reasons but they've been there for me through it all. My Mum and Dad are wonderful, supportive, loving people and, without them, I really don't know what I'd do. They've put up with so much from me throughout the years and always been there with advice (even though I may not appreciate it at the time) and whatever help I need. My friends are ridiculous, fabulous, incredible people and I feel truly blessed to have them in my life. At times of upset and distress you find out who your real friends are and I really have. I've known most of them for at least ten years and I love that I have that support network there. Your friends are the family you choose for yourself, after all.

British comedy

I'm Alan Partridge, Peep Show, Nighty Night, Black Books, The IT Crowd, Monkey Dust, The League of Gentlemen. The list goes on. There are few things more likely to cheer me up than a bit of dark humour. Particularly good on a day when the hangover is brutal and you haven't actually been to bed yet. Just add wine for maximum joy.

Ridiculous jewellery

Big costume rings, ludicrously shaped necklaces, chunky bracelets. I love it all. Current favourites are my gold perspex custom 'MCR' necklace (Manchester fo' life), teacup ring and Jackie Brazil resin bracelet because it looks like sweets and I adore it, always (it's similar to this one but infinitely better).

Camping

I love it. There is literally nothing better than throwing a few essentials in the car and setting off for a weekend in the country. Sleeping under canvas, cooking bacon in the mornings, listening to rain hitting the tent walls, waking up and breathing in the glorious clean air and then heading off for a bracing walk in the hills and following it up with a pub meal and a few pints of cider. I love it all.

Homemade gingerbread loaf cake with lemon frosting

Cooking

I really don't cook as much as I should but I absolutely love it. Putting some good music on, digging out my Mr Scuff apron and finding a recipe to follow fills me with utter joy. It's therapeutic and relaxing and incredibly satisfying. Each year at Christmas time I cook my parents a three course meal. from scratch The menu this year was breaded goats cheese with grape chutney, slow cooked lamb shanks with piperonata, mashed potatoes and curly kale, with key lime pie for dessert. It rocked.

Healthy eating/the gym

This might sound strange but I'm always happier when I'm eating well, drinking enough water and visiting the gym regularly. These three things are all paramount to my wellbeing and energy levels. I love fruit, vegetables and green tea and they make my body happy, which in turn makes me happy.

Festivals

I'm a festival girl at heart and have been to more than my fair share over the last few years. I've been to Glastonbury (this year will be my sixth!), V, Bloom, Creamfields and Leeds (in the distant past). Festivals are a chance to take a few days away from real life, drink Strongbow at 8am without fear of being judged, and get thoroughly filthy (I abhor the idea of showering at a festival, haha). Some of the greatest, defining moments of my life have been at festivals and I think I've got a few years left in me yet.

Food/nice restaurants/good wine

I love food. Anything from Chinese, Thai or Indian to Italian, Mexican and good old British fish and chips. I appreciate good food hugely and I love a meal in a fancy restaurant once in a while. Food is a celebration of all that is wonderful and I truly don't understand people who 'don't like eating.' Sadly my food love has to be curbed for a while as I'm a porker at the moment. Similarly my love of good wine has been put on the backburner, at least for the moment. FYI, I prefer red but will gladly guzzle down a glass or five of ice cold Sauvignon Blanc.

Blogging/taking photographs

Trying to better myself as a photographer and a writer are two of my latest loves. My blog is a mish mash of different topics and styles of writing but I like to think that it's very 'me'. I always write from the heart and am always completely honest in everything I say. I like to try and be amusing, it's always nice to make people smile and laugh but, to be honest, I write mainly for me. Because it's always nice to look back and see how you were feeling at a particular time, in a particular year. I'm currently saving up for a decent DSLR camera so that I can develop my photography skills further. I have the ideas but I just don't have the equipment to realise them at the moment.

Making plans

Over the last year or so I've really started to enjoy challenging myself to do things and planning exciting things for the future. I used to be quite happy in my little rut, neither moving forwards nor backwards, but then I realised that I was just stagnating. If you don't challenge yourself or constantly try to be the best that you can be then you're selling yourself short. We are all capable of such fantastic, magical things and all too often we take the easy option and put things off 'until tomorrow'. 2010 is my year of not putting things off, of moving forwards and upwards and of saying 'yes'.


Done! I'm supposed to tag ten people but a lot of people have already done it and a lot of people won't want to do it. So, do it, don't do it... it's your call!

Scattered

The horror, the horror

Things and stuff....


Why do people use Facebook to tell their other half they're madly in love with them? Or, even worse, to tell people about their prodigal child's potty training habits? I DON'T CARE. I've been toilet trained for 27 years, big whoop.

The hard drive on the family computer died today. So that's 6 years worth of music and photos gone then. Unless someone can work a miracle and bring it back to life. Devastated doesn't quite cover it. I'll NEVER replace all that those terrible novelty songs and 'artistic' photos of my feet.

I'm starting Slimming World tomorrow. I've never felt the need to get 'help' with weight loss before but I figure I've got nothing to lose. I also think the shame of a weekly weigh in will help greatly with the old willpower. I am, however, fearful (mainly that I'll be the fattest person in the room, oh the shame) and my head is filled with images of Fat Fighters. "Dust, anybody?"

My first day back at work was, predictably, hellish. Hours spent working - approximately 1.5; Hours spent moaning about being at work - 2.5; Hours spent playing Farmville and wanting to punch myself in the face - 4.

I have got yet another nasty cold and have also pulled a muscle in my stomach (see kids, the gym is bad for you) so sneezing has taken on a whole new dimension of horror. As soon as I feel a sneeze building I'm filled with abject terror. Fun.


I think I need to take my grumpy face to bed now.

That was the year that was...

1) Was 2009 a good year for you?
Yes and no. I had some of the happiest times of my life but also some of the saddest. (That's the answer I gave last year but it still rings true)

2) What were your favourite moments of the year?
Valentines Day night out at Chibuku in Liverpool, virtually every moment of the holiday to New York (particularly the afternoon spent in a sports bar, drinking $3 beers and laughing our heads off), meeting Michael Eavis at Glastonbury. The best though? The moment on 31st May when the truth finally came out and the day and night were spent talking, making plans and finally admitting how we felt. I've literally never felt happier than I did the moment those three little words were uttered.

3) What was your least favourite moment of the year?
The moment we found out my Dad's cancer had spread, after the doctor had assured us that it hadn't.

4) Where were you when 2009 began?
I was in Thomsons in the gay village in Manchester. I vaguely remember doing the conga to a dance version of Auld Lang Syne. Good times.

5) Who were you with?
Friends, lots of them.

6) Where will you be when 2009 ends?
No plans. Probably something fairly low key with a couple of friends, or I might just go to bed at 10pm. I kind of just want this year to be over as soon as possible.

7) Who will you be with when 2009 ends?
Myself or a couple of friends.

8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2009?
They were "To lose weight, go to the gym, get happy, work hard, sleep more, laugh more, love more, dance more, be thankful more, like myself more..."  I'd say I've achieved just over half of those. C-, could do better.

9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2010?
Just to continue on my road of self discovery (I'm aware that makes me sound like a tosser) and lose weight. Slimming World here I come.

10) Did you fall in love in 2009?
I remained in love. Fell more in love, despite everything.

11) If yes, with who?
I think we all know the answer to that.

12) If yes, do they know?
I would imagine so, yes.

13) Are you still in love with them?
Always.

14) You regret it?
Never. I regret letting myself be walked all over. But I was so much weaker then than I am now. I never regret love. It's too rare and special for that.

15) Did you breakup with anyone in 2009?
Nope. I came closer than I ever have before, but I always believe that things will work out. I never walk away, not when I believe the other person's worth it, whether they think they are or not.

16) Did you make any new friends in 2009?
I became a lot closer to certain people and met a lot of lovely people through work. Plus a couple of other randoms that appeared in my life.

17) Who are your favourite new friends?
Work people. It's nice to actually care about the people you work with.

18) What was your favourite month of 2009?
April. New York, Go Ape, birthday celebrations of a certain someone.

19) Did you travel outside of your country of residence in 2009?
New York! Ooh, and Amsterdam on the way to New York.

20) How many different states/provinces did you travel to in 2009?
I'm not an American. Next year I hope to visit lots though. Helen's Grand American Tour 2010?

21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2009?
Lose as in die? No. Lose as in lose? Yes. I hope to find them soon. And put them in my pocket for keeps. (Again, my answer from last year)

22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
I miss the other half of me.

23) What was your favourite movie that you saw in 2009?
Avatar. Or Up. Or Slumdog Millionnaire. I loved every film I saw this year.

24) What was your favourite song from 2009?
According to Last.fm, Only Love Can Break Your Heart by Saint Etienne and We Interrupt This Programme by Coburn. How very fitting. Love, interrupted.

25) What was your favourite record from 2009?
I haven't really listened to a lot of new music this year. Probably 'The Back Room' by Editors. Although it makes me quite sad sometimes. Too many memories.

26) How many concerts did you see in 2009?
Not nearly enough. Basement Jaxx, Ladytron (in NYC, holla!), Girls Aloud, Pet Shop Boys, Tina Turner, Little Boots, Glastonbury Festival.

27) Did you have a favourite concert in 2009?
Tina Turner. Hands down the best concert I've ever seen and the woman is a living legend. She was on stage for two and a half hours, dancing like a demon. Truly incredible. I took my Mum for her 65th birthday and she had the time of her life.

28) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2009?
Not as much as last year. Certainly not as much wine consumed in bed. It's no fun on your own.

29) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2009?
Define drugs... I drank a lot of tea?

30) How many people did you sleep with in 2009?
I shared a bed with numerous friends. I rarely sleep.

31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
I'm actually less ashamed of myself this year than ever before. I think, for the most part, I've behaved fairly well. There were a couple of alcohol related incidents that weren't exactly wonderful but I think it's best not to dwell on things that happen under the influence. People argue, that's just the way it is. It doesn't mean that everything is awful or wrong. It's the making up that counts.

32) Where did most of your money go?
Savings (for the first time ever), the taxman (I hate you), nice wine, make up and shoes. Always shoes.

33) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2009?
I have no idea. I'm not aware of any lies. So either I haven't been told any or they were all very good liars. I haven't told any lies this year, as far as I can remember. Maybe the odd white lie, but nothing more than that.

34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2009?
I don't think so. I hope not anyway.

35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2009?
Yes. Nothing so bad that it can't be undone though.

36) How much money did you spend in 2009?
A lot less than last year. For the first time in nine years I'm out of my overdraft and I've paid off my credit card debts. Living within your means is the new living beyond your means.

37) What was your proudest moment of 2009?
Appearing on the Fourth Plinth.

38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2009?
I don't actually get embarrassed very easily. That's what comes from going out with a man with no shame for 18 months. Haha.

39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2009 and change something, what would it be?
I'd change my Dad's results. I'd make him cancer free and healthy. Everything else will work itself out.

 

     “Things usually work out in the end.”

     “What if they don’t?”
     “That just means you haven’t come to the end yet.”

40) What are your plans for 2010?
To travel a bit, work a bit, live a bit, love a bit, laugh a bit and buy my own house.

Christmas by numbers

The view from the sofa, Christmas Day

Number of mince pies eaten: Surprisingly few. This year I've been all about the Lebkuchen.
Lbs of turkey eaten: Approximately twelve. And that was just on Christmas Day.
Pink gin and tonics drunk: At least 15. M&S 'Think Pink' gin is my new love.
Duff presents received: Just the one. The rest were all fantastic.
Times fallen over on the ice: Zero. Hurrah!
Number of boxes of chocolates received: Seven. Seriously. I may not be able to leave the house soon.
Number of Christmas wishes made: Just the one.


Christmas was.... lovely.

It was quiet, full of gorgeous food, drink and my Dad sleeping in the chair after Christmas dinner. Fairly textbook really. I got a Slanket, a Banana Guard (which looks terrifyingly like a fruit themed sex toy) and various other bits and bobs. Books, DVDs, Wii games and more chocolate than I've ever seen in my entire life (Fact: I don't even like chocolate that much).

We've been mostly housebound for the last few days due to the ice lying on the roads. It was inches deep in parts and almost impossible to drive a car on. But the rain has come and the ice is thawing, so I guess normal life is about to resume.

Maybe though, just maybe, there's still time and enough magic left for Christmas wishes to come true...

Oh the weather outside is frightful...

5 ways to make a winter's day infinitely more magical:


1) Throw an impromptu dance party in your kitchen. Crank up the volume, jump around like a maniac and feel the endorphins come running!

2) Bake a cake, some cookies or some brownies. Your house or flat will be filled with warmth and the smell of baking. What's better than that?!

3) Go for a long walk in the crisp winter air. Crunch through leaves, skip when noone else is looking (or even if they are) and treat youself to a mulled wine when you get home.

4) Put on your warmest socks, grab a good book or a stack of magazines and spend the afternoon lazing, with a cup of hot chocolate by your side. A weekend wasted is never a wasted weekend and all that.

5) Plan something fun to do for every weekend in January. It doesn't have to be expensive (who's got money in January?!) but try and be creative! A local museum or art gallery that you've not been to before, a weekend getaway in a city you've always wanted to visit (there are some super cheap hotel deals in January) or simply building a fort in your living room and spending the weekend in there reading, listening to music and making exciting plans for the year ahead.

Christmas wishes

Dear Santa

I've been a good girl this year, I swear. Aside from occasionally having too much to drink, having a foul mouth on occasion and spending too much money on pretty things. For Christmas I'd love it if you could bring me the following:

• I'd really love it if you could make sure that my Dad's cancer has gone. He's having a scan on 29th December, to see what the situation is. It'd be tremendous if you could make his scan give us good news.
  
• Mark Owen, wearing nothing but a bowtie and a smile. I ask for this every year and am always disappointed not to find a little naked Northerner in my stocking on Christmas morn. Please sort it out.
• A Canon EOS 500D DSLR. Please? Pretty please? I'm really enjoying doing my 365 project on Flickr but I feel limited by my camera. I could do so much better with a big girl's camera.
• The sequinned lips jumper by Markus Lupfer. I was *this* close to buying it last week but then realised that spending £201 on a jumper was slightly frivolous. You're rich though aren't you Santa? 
• A 15" red satchel from the Cambridge Satchel Company. Embossed with 'MOO' in silver letters.
• Iron will power for the new year. I've lost some weight but have a lot more to lose. Sadly, when you work in an office full of people who love food, it's difficult not to gorge yourself on M&S biscuits, pastries, cakes and sweets. So iron will power would be much appreciated.
• There is one other person thing I'd really like. I'm sure you can work out who what that is Santa, you're a clever guy.

Lots of Love and festive snuffles,

Helen (aged 28 years and one month) xx