Observations

- If you wear bright pink shoes, people will feel the need to comment on them.

- I am more than my job, although it doesn't always feel that way.

- Sunny Saturday mornings with nothing to do and nowhere to go are my idea of heaven. There has been coffee, a Masterchef marathon, raspberries, coconut yoghurt and catching up on my favourite blogs. Perfect.

- I miss New York. This is not helped by Alice's recent posts about her adentures, although I am loving them.

- In 8 weeks' time I will be merrily drinking cider in a big field with about 200,000 other people.

- In 9 weeks' time there will be a BOY living in my house and I cannot wait. Ask me again in 10 weeks' time.

- It is important to notice and be thankful for those small moments each day that both restore my faith in humanity and make me smile, inwardly and outwardly.

- Sometimes an inconvenient fit of hysterical laughter at something inconsequential is enough to get you through the day.

Five Things...

My new amazing Sugar & Vice necklace

1) I've got a new job. In Manchester city centre. Oh yes. I start on 4th July and I'm so excited I can barely contain it. Bye bye Warrington, hello spending endless amounts of money in the massive Arndale Topshop. I've been with my current firm for two and a half years and, while it's going to be incredibly hard to say goodbye to my friends here, I'm so ready for a new challenge.

2) In less than two weeks I will be in The Best Place On Earth (tm), aka Glastonbury Festival. Cider, pies, jerk chicken, sun (hopefully) and lots and lots of craziness. As there isn't one next year it has been decreed that this year's festival must be the ultimate lost weekend. I'm so excited I could pop. And probably will do, following excessive cider intake. Bliss.

3) I'm feeling happier and more positive than I have for weeks. Sometimes you just need to take a step back and realise exactly what you've got. I've spent so much of this year feeling bad about myself and questioning why I don't seem to be enough. You know what, I am enough. I'm more special than you'll ever know. I may be flawed but I am GLORIOUS. Swagger. Reinstated.

4) I'm completely in love with my house. In my yard I've got a hanging basket, some tomato, courgette and cucumber plants, a fuchsia in a pot and lots of herbs. Gardening is the new going out. Fact. I promise that there will be lots of house related posts in the near future, as it's finally getting into a state that is fit for photographs. FINALLY.

5) I started a Facebook page for Clear Your Heart. You can like it, if you like. I might eventually get around to putting some stuff up there one day.

10 days

Things I have learnt in the last 10 days:


--- 1000 miles can make all the difference and provide a surprising amount of clarity
--- Sometimes, you just need to say what's in your heart. The answer is largely irrelevant
--- The 30 Day Shred is hard. But makes me feel like a machine. Grr
--- The number on the scales is less important than how I feel about myself
--- Taking a chance can pay off, although may result in hard decisions to be made
--- My life is bloody lovely, just as it is. But there's nothing wrong with wanting more


Ooh, it's been a while since I've been cryptic, hasn't it?


And now, a song...

Playing Catch Up

I thought it was about time I did a non outfit post and filled you all in on the happenings in my life. Whether you like it or not...

I've been struggling slightly with my diet this year. I've just never really managed to get back into the Slimming World lifestyle after Christmas. Yes, I'm aware Christmas was nearly four months ago. I am getting there slowly though and I wrote a guest post about my weight loss for the wonderful 'Where Are My Knees?' blog, which you can find here. Disclaimer: Contains a HORRIFIC photo of me from when I was at my biggest. Enter at your own peril.

My parents have been on holiday in Spain for the past week, resulting in me taking on dogsitting duties at their house. I've missed my little house in the ghetto but it's actually been really nice to have a week away from it. I feel like a lot of the things (well thing) that have been clouding my head recently have dissipated and I'm feeling extremely... serene and at peace with myself. Ugh, sometimes I despise myself!

My house is coming along.... slowly. I'm actually extremely frustrated and am looking forward to being off for ELEVEN days over Easter so I can get my DIY on and make some real progress. I intend to buy lots of brightly coloured furniture, wallpaper a bit and paint some canvasses. Job done. Apart from the small matter of a new bathroom and a new kitchen. Home ownership - far more expensive and time consuming than I ever imagined!

Other miscellaneous things I have been doing include: planting herbs! Yes, I am officially middle aged and LOVING it; attending my friend B's baby shower, and eating the sweets from the goody bag in approximately 5 seconds; basking in the 22 degree heat on Sunday. Yeah baby, the playsuits are back!


How've you been, loves?

Back to Life

Things I cannot get enough of this week:

• Spending time at my parents' house, with my gorgeous dogs.
• Walks by the canal 
• Olives. SO GOOD
• Blue skies. Spring is on its way!

2011 has been a funny old year so far. I just haven't felt like myself, at all. I've been stressed (which I very rarely am), have been worrying about things a lot and I felt like I'd lost a part of myself. Posts here have been few and far between and I think that's been indicative of my state of mind. I just felt like hiding. The last few days though, I'm starting to feel more like myself. I'm laughing more, I'm not going to bed at 9pm (which I always do if I'm feeling rubbish about things) and I finally feel like I'm getting my sparkle back.

Getting my hair cut has definitely helped as I feel like a weight's been lifted. Ridiculous I know but I feel like my head's a lot lighter of troubles now that the hair has gone! Next on my list is getting rid of the thing I hate most about myself. My belly.

I don't suffer from as many body confidence issues as I used to, when I was so much heavier, but I truly hate my belly. So it shall be banished. And soon. I've got a holiday to look forward to and I refuse to appear on the beach in a bikini with anything less than a flat stomach.


How's Sunday treating you, cherubs?

The Weekend

This weekend I:

• Wore a lot of colour and revelled in the confused looks I received from old ladies and the man at Oxford Road train station
• Went on a protest march about the threatened closure of Levenshulme swimming baths. If you do get a second then please, please sign the online petition. My local community needs all the help it can get to save this vital leisure facility!
• Had a lovely afternoon in Liverpool. Tate, Brew Tea Bar (green tea vanilla latte, oh my!), noodles and beer and lots of fun. Ace. Look at the colour of that sky too! Gorgeous. We were only out of Manchester for about 6 hours but it felt like a proper little holiday
• Bought myself a dozen beautiful yellow roses. It's all about being your own Valentine, girls. Life is too short not to buy yourself flowers
• Made two dozen red velvet Valentine's cupcakes for my work colleagues. Those lucky lucky people

What did you get upto, my loves?

Snip snip snip

No deep meaning here, I just like this badge

001: I've been to the cinema more times in the last two weeks than I have in the last year. Four films in ten days. Oh yeah. Here's a little review of each:

• The King's Speech: wonderful, Hitler-y, interesting 
• Love & Other Drugs: porn with a side of emotional devastation
• Black Swan: intense, minor lesbian escapades, made me jump
• Blue Valentine: HARROWING but you do get to see Ryan Gosling's bum. I would gladly be harrowed  all day long for a look at that delicious rump

002: I'm really not enjoying work at the moment. The travelling, the cost of travelling and a few other issues are making me pretty sad. To be honest I quite fancy jacking it all in and going for an adventure on the high seas. Note to self: go on more adventures.

003: I've decided to get a haircut. This may not sounds very exciting but I've not had my hair cut properly for well over two years. It's time for a change. I will miss the tremendous swish but, to be honest, it's just been getting in the way of things for the last few weeks. It's too long, there's too much of it and it gets EVERYWHERE.

004: I got paid on Tuesday. Normally a major cause for celebration, a few drinks and an ASOS spendathon. Unfortunately though I appear to be completely skint. Once all my outgoings have outgone, I will have about £12 left. So, for the rest of January and the whole of February I am buying nothing. You hear me? NOTHING. No clothes, no jewellery, no non essentials. Depressing but, to be honest, I needed a kick up the bum to make me budget.

005: I'm taking part in the blogging 'Pay It Forward' malarkey that you've probably seen here, there and everywhere. I added my name to Em's list (who, by the way, has a lovely blog that you should probably be following. Just FYI) and so here are the rules...

"Pay it forward 2011: I promise to send something handmade to the first 5 people who leave a comment here. They in turn must post this and send something they make to the first 5 people who comment on their status. The rules are that it must be handmade by you and it must be sent to your 5 people sometime in 2011."

I'm probably going to bake some treats so, if you'd like to receive some baked joy in the post, then leave a comment and I'll hopefully get round to it some time in February. Only five though, please. My little oven can't cope with any more (as much as it would like to).

Last Week

1) Getting ready to go out on Friday night, wearing my new Me & Zena necklace. Love it.
2) Rain. Lots of it. One of the pitfalls of living in Manchester
3) Epic shoes. Reduced from about £90 to less than £20 in the Office sale. Be still my beating heart
4) My awesome friend Natalie sent me a package filled with American candy treats (let's not discuss the fact it took a month to arrive). Slimming World, I'm so sorry
5) New shower curtain and a new addition to my living room wall. The house is taking shape, very slowly but very surely


I've not really got into the swing of blogging this year. Sometimes life just seems to get in the way and I end up so tired that the last thing I feel like doing is sitting down and writing. I'd rather be watching endless repeats of America's Next Top Model and eating frozen berries. I fully intend to get back into the blogging habit though and there might even be an outfit post in the next couple of days or so. I know. Shocking.


So, how've you been?

365: Redux

001: Firstly, I just want to say thankyou and hello to all my new followers! Mainly thanks to the lovely Morven, I seem to have gained rather a lot of you over the last few days. Posting has been a bit lax over the last few weeks due to the epic house move but I'm slowly getting back on track so normal service should be resumed shortly!

002: People who've been reading Clear Your Heart for a while will probably remember that I attempted to do a 365 project last year but failed miserably. I got upto about 210 days and then just lost all enthusiasm. Well, as I'm a glutton for punishment, I'm doing another one. I started on 1st January and I hope to actually complete this one! Last time I took only self portraits and I think that was my downfall, I just couldn't think of any more to do! This time there will be some self portraits but it'll mainly be photos of whatever takes my fancy on the day. You can follow my progress over at CYH365 if you so desire, and also on my Flickr for larger format photos.

003: Yesterday was my first day back at work after eleven days off. Predictably, it was a bit like being hit by a train and today wasn't much better. I think my bodyclock is just destroyed following too many late nights and too many lie ins but hopefully I should be back on top in a few days. I sincerely hope so anyway.

004: Speaking of being back on top, I've added a few more (very dull) resolutions to my list for 2011. One that I've obviously broken tonight is to get off the internet by 11pm. It stops me sleeping, makes my brain overthink and generally makes the next day at work awful if I stay up too late looking at nonsensical things. I realise that makes me sound terribly old but there you have it. Other resolutions include being more organised (hello Moleskine, my new best friend), working out a monthly budget (boring but very necessary now that I actually have a house to pay for) and finally getting a skin care regime. I'm 29 and I've never had one. Shocking.

005: I don't have a five tonight. Talk amongst yourselves.

Betwixmas

My nemesis and downfall

001: I'm in that strange limbo period between Christmas and New Year when I stay up too late, wake up too late and am never entirely sure what day it is. I'm not back in work until the 4th January and I'm genuinely slightly concerned that I will have forgotten not only the passwords to my work computer but also how to do my job. Worrying.

002: Christmas was WONDERFUL. It was one of the nicest I've ever had and I was utterly spoilt by my parents. I got not one, not two but three lovely prints from Keep Calm Gallery. I cannot wait to get those bad boys framed and up on my far-too-bare walls. Christmas was quiet, relaxing and filled with far too much food and one too many gin and tonics. Basically perfect then.

003: The Sainsburys man has just delivered and I'm now eating fruit for the first time in about a week. Shocking. After 11 months of Slimming World plan following, Christmas was a complete shock to the system. I feel bloated and MASSIVE and I'm actually relishing the thought of salads, fruit and green tea. Must lose holiday weight. Must lose holiday weight. Etc etc etc.

004: I ventured into Manchester yesterday, intending to do a bit of sale shopping. After spending 45 minutes in the queue at Primark I couldn't face going to any other shops and so headed home. I did buy a onesie with rabbit ears though. It's simultaneously the most incredible and most horrific thing I've ever bought and I haven't taken it off since I got home.

005: I'm currently making a list of resolutions for 2011. Things I want to achieve include hitting my target weight, blogging more (I'm aware that posting has been seriously scant of late but I really have been busier than a very busy thing) and getting fit.


So, my lovelies, how was Christmas for you? Any exciting presents? Any amazing sale finds?

House of bruises

001: I am shattered. Firstly, it was my work Christmas do on Friday and, as a result, I have but one piece of advice for you. Don't wear 5 inch heels when it's snowing. Or start drinking at 3.30pm. In my defence, the office got evacuated at 3pm because of an electrical fault. It would have been rude not to take advantage of that by getting our drink on in the pub. I have a cut leg, two grazed and bruised knees and a ridiculously painful and bruised left hand. I am too old for such drinking related injuries.

002: The other reason for my state of extreme exhaustion is, of course, the house. I've been spending every spare minute painting and it's starting to come together nicely. In other news, I did a fairly vigorous booty dance to 'Poison' earlier and then realised that, not only were the curtains open, I was also standing on a ladder in full view of the street. Hello, new neighbours!

003: Speaking of my house, a few people have asked to see pictures of the palace so there are a few little sneak peeks above. Interesting features to note: the kitchen painted in orange gloss paint (yum), the pantry (!), the 'intense truffle' walls that I'm trying desperately to get rid of, the air raid shelter in the backyard (love) and the generally shabby nature of it. It was built in 1902 and I swear that hardly anything has been done to it since! Still, it's all mine and I'm completely in love with it.

004: The gorgeous Sarah sent me some jewellery from her new Etsy shop. I'll be posting about the pieces she sent me later in the week but, if you want to get a head start, head over to her shop now and enter 'CLEARYOURHEART' for a 10% discount (valid until 15th December). She's got some gorgeous necklaces and earrings that would be perfect for Christmas presents so go and spend your pennies!

005: I solemnly swear to post some sort of outfit post this week. Hopefully. Seeing as I currently spend my time either in work clothes or in paint covered leggings and jumpers though, maybe not.

Kiss and make up

Man alive, this week has been busy!

I've been a terrible blogger yet again this week. Sometimes life just takes over I guess. The highlight of the week was seeing Kele Okereke last night. If you've never listened to his album then I urge you to get a copy now, put Tenderoni on and dance round your room like a lunatic. It will enhance your life in so many ways, I promise.

1) Sequins on a Friday are practically mandatory in my life. And this Markus Lupfer jumper is still one of my absolute favourites.
2) I went to see MIA at the Warehouse Project last Saturday night. MIA was slightly disappointing, the big gay night out afterwards was not. Dancing round to Cher at 9am is never a bad thing. I wore falsh eyelashes for the very first time and I think I can now call myself a proper girl, yes?
3) The Models Own x Wah Nails nail art pens popped through my letter box today. I cannot wait to try these bad boys out. Although I am fairly cack handed when it comes to matters of the nail so we shall see. THE PACKAGING THOUGH! Incredible.
4) Another of my latest obsessions is Eyeko. Gorgeous packaging and lovely lovely products at very reasonable prices. I'm currently loving the Minty Fat Balm and the Extra Glow Cream which bares more than a passing resemblance to my beloved Benefit High Beam but at less than half the price. If you enter my ambassador code at the checkout then you'll get yourself a lovely little free gift... E12432.


After spending the last three weekends in various dens of ill repute in Manchester I'm really looking forward to this one. I have no plans other than a Samaritans duty this evening. So I intend to sleep, bake and blog. I have so many blog posts to write so that's going to be my main focus this weekend.


What are your plans, my lovelies?

Ooh matron

001: It's Hallowe'en (tomorrow) and I am so excited. I'm off to a party at my friend A's tonight and the theme is 'zombies'. Can you tell what I'm going as? Yes, a zombie nurse. Complete with eye patch (a la Elle Driver) two foot syringe, black nails, massive hair and PVC outfit. P. V. C. I apologise in advance if any of you are going to be in the vicinity of Manchester tonight. Noone deserves to see my thighs encased in PVC.

002: As excited as I am about getting my zombie on later, I currently feel like death. A few after work drinks last night turned into shots, pole dancing (badly) and a 2.30am finish. I blame the £1.50 double vodkas for my current state and am desperately trying to perk myself up in time for zombie o'clock.

003: I got Take That tickets! When all the ticket websites crashed before 9am yesterday I feared another Glastonbury ticket debacle (refreshing web pages for 3 hours with a hangover and no sleep was the worst thing ever) but, somehow, at 9.10am the fog cleared and the order form popped up. I was physically shaking when I was putting in my card details. Ridiculous. Take That have the ability to reduce me to a 14 year old like nothing else.

004: I cannot stop eating grapefruits. Obsessed. I fear my insides will be corroded by citric acid before long.

005: I have a cold. Again.


What are your Hallowe'en plans, my loves?

♥♥♥

001: I love this photo. It was taken on our last night in New York. We'd been to Brooklyn to look at the beautiful skyline, had pizza and wine at Grimaldi's and then decided to venture back to Top of the Rock for a night time view of the city. I was messing around with the settings on my camera (yep, still learning how to use it after eight months) and somehow I managed to make all the twinkling lights heart shaped. Love.

002: I'm tired. Really, really tired. I can't actually remember the last time I felt rested and I just never seem to get enough sleep. House stress plus work stress plus house stress plus work stress. I shouldn't grumble though, life is really rather wonderful.

003: I've spent approximately ten hours watching the rescue of the Chilean miners today. I've shed more tears than a woman should ever shed at her desk. Humanity really is fantastic sometimes though, isn't it?

004: I lost four pounds at weigh in this week, bringing the grand total to 65 pounds! That number just looks so ridiculous that I can't really believe it. The size 12 clothes hanging in my wardrobe insist otherwise though.

005: What's better than a little bit of Hurts on a Wednesday? Not much, that's what. This song reminds me of New York and makes my heart ache just a little. In a good way.

Roll up, roll up!

Things and stuff:


1 I've made a monumental mistake with regards to my monthly outgoings (I swear I am an adult, honest!) and now need to find £400 pretty quickly. It is with a heavy heart that I've decided that I need to sell my Christian Louboutins. The style is Miss Marple, they're a size 6 and they're completely unworn (they were always just slightly too big for me). £300 or your best offer. They originally retailed at $710 which I think is about £460. Any takers? Be quick, I'm very likely to change my mind.

2 This week at work has been MANIC. I feel like I've not stopped all week and am so ready for the weekend to be here. Working with numbers has really made my head hurt this week and I'm longing for a beach holiday. Cocktails, sun and sea are what I want. Alas, with the state of my bank balance I can't see it happening any time soon. Are you off on holiday soon? Where? Let me live vicariously through you.

3 The parents return from holiday tomorrow. This means that tonight will be spent frantically tidying and putting away the 25 pairs of shoes that I appear to have worn in the two weeks that they've been away. Also, hoovering, watering the plants (oops!), watching Gossip Girl and trying to avoid the siren call of the Ben & Jerry's that's stashed in the freezer.

4 Ask me questions! Any questions! Well, within reason. Obv.

Tea time

Is there anything more gloriously British than a nice cup of tea?


Earl Grey, Lady Grey, English breakfast, peppermint, green tea with mint. Ah, I love them all... and so many more.

Tea saves the day.

Had a shock? Have a cup of tea.
Had some bad news? Have a cup of tea.
Feeling thirsty? Have a cup of tea (it's refreshing, apparently).

The water at work has been shut off for the last two days due to some builders making lots of noise and doing some work on the pipes (I just saw them drinking a lot of tea. Ironic, given that I COULDN'T). It eventually got turned back on at about 3.30 this afternoon.

What was the first thing we did? Dash to the toilets to flush them repeatedly and cackle maniacally? Douse ourselves in gallons of water, just because we could? Indulge in a water fight?

No. We put the kettle on and made a brew.


Sometimes I really love being British.

Melons

Today I love:


Eating melon at my desk (Melons was my nickname at University, much to my chagrin)
Yellow shoes (always and forever)
Three shot iced skinny lattes
The Markus Lupfer lips jumper that will be winging its way to me very soon (I finally bought it, hurrah)
Tulips and daffodils in abundance, and.....

...... the SUN!!!


What about you, my little treasures?

Umb-er-ella, ella ella

When I saw the umbrellas in the hall at work yesterday I wondered if they were having a little party. Bitching about their human owners, discussing the weather and whether or not the famous 'barbecue summer' would arrive this year.

Does anyone else think about things like this?

No? Oh.