The one with the year long cold...

via lauren_measure

I've had a cold for 11 months and 9 days.


How do I remember the day it started? It was the first day of my job. 1st December last year to be utterly precise. 9am to be annoyingly utterly precise. I walked into the office (probably having fallen over on the way up the stairs, I have a habit of doing that) and BOOM! Bright lights, cold city. Almost a year of sniffles, sneezes, constant blocked nose, sore eyes and approximately 12 tubs of vaseline (for my chapped lips, filth monger) (the lips on my face, fyi) and I am so bored of it I could cry.

I take vitamins (multi and B6), I drink at least two litres of water every day, I eat plenty of fruit and vegetables, I (usually) get 7 hours of sleep a night. So what am I doing wrong?

Why has this affliction taken hold of my nose?

I've tried Sudafed, Vicks, Sinex, Olbas Oil, Paracetamol, Nurofen and honey & lemon and none of them have worked for more than a couple of hours. What else can I do to rid myself of this beastly virus? 

Yours,

Sniffly of Snotsville xx

Get your freak on

 I will eat your crusts before your sensuous cheese interior

Ways in which I am a freak:

• I get really annoyed when people refer to Disney World (in Florida) as Disney Land. REALLY ANNOYED. World and Land are not the same.
  

• If I'm eating food that is round (a pizza, a burger, a jaffa cake, a wheel of cheese) I have to eat all the way round the edge first. This may make me look like a big mental but it means I get all the good stuff at the end. No dry crusts for this little lady, nosirree, just pure unadulterated joy. NB: This does not extend to sprouts, cranberries, carrot slices or grapes.
  

• I am genuinely upset that Mark Owen has got married. I've basically been in love with him since I was 10 years old. I may wear a black veil for the next week or two and occasionally wail loudly to show my abject sorrow.
  

• I went to Marks & Spencer to grab a sandwich for lunch and actually applauded when I saw that the festive sandwiches are in! Santa's Turkey Feast? Yes please! And the festive looking 'Piglet Party' sweets were almost enough to render me paralysed through excitement.

Do you have any slightly odd habits that you'd like to entertain me with on this Monday afternoon?

Thunderbirds are go

 Yes, that is a Thunderbirds hat. No, I don't know why.

My birthday celebrations come to an end tonight with a nice dose of Manchester boozing. Five days of too much gin, sambuca, numerous cocktails, a bazillion meals out and too-late nights. Why have a day of celebrations when you can stretch it out to four, five, six or even seven days? More is always more in such circumstances I feel.

I've been in Nottingham for the last two days and it was wonderful, as ever. Champagne at 5pm, dancing till 4am, chips and cheese on the way to the taxi rank. Marvellous.

This has probably been one of the most fun birthdays I've ever had.


So why does it feel like someone's something's missing?

Birthday by numbers

Photo by the ever wonderful krisatomic

Yesterday I.....


... spent 9 hours at Court with work. We lost our case.
... spent 2 hours sitting in traffic. I lost my mind.
... spent 3 hours being trained how to deal with suicidal callers. Everyone lost the will to live. That's irony for you, folks.
... bought 12 krispy kreme doughnuts for my work colleagues. I will not lose weight if I have one.
... opened 10 presents, with varying degrees of awesomeness. My Mum lost one of my presents. She'd forgotten where she'd hidden it.

... made 1 wish. I figured I had nothing to lose.


Happy Birthday to me :)

Lessons I have learnt...

 

I may be getting old but I will always wear ridiculous jewellery

Tomorrow I turn 28.


I cannot lie to you, this year has been one of the worst of my entire life. However, these days I prefer to focus on the good, look to the future and learn lessons from the bad things.

Lessons I have learnt during my 27th year on this planet...

• The only person who can truly make you happy is yourself. You are responsible for your own life, your own wellbeing, your own decisions and choices. If you can be happy with who you are, or even just with who you know you want to be, then good things will come your way. You have to be happy with yourself before someone else can add to that happiness. 
  

• Break ups suck. Truly, utterly, completely suck. But life goes on. Always. If things are meant to be then they will be. Whether days, weeks, months or years down the line. It's never too late to try again. Whether it's fate or something else, the things that are meant to happen will happen.
  

• Fresh fruit, vegetables, water, green tea and exercise are the key to my emotional and physical health. If I eat well and take care of my body then I feel fantastic. Happier, more in control, more capable and more enthusiastic.
  

• Cruel words are easily said but, sadly, not always easily taken back or forgotten. A moment of stupidity and a flash of anger can change things. If not forever, then for a good long while.
  

• Second chances (and third and fourth and fifth) are wonderful things and the capacity for forgiveness is one of the greatest assets a person can possess. I've never believed that a person should have only one or two chances at something. Who made that rule?
  

• I'm far more capable, and far stronger, than I ever realised. I've taken everything that the world has thrown at me this year and emerged brighter, more positive and, for the most part, happier than ever before.
  

• I actually like olives.
  

Despite all the things I've learnt and discovered about myself, I still really hope 28 is better than 27.

Here's to the next 365....