Tuesday 20 October 2009

Freak show

Marry me?

If you know me you'll know that I love two things more than anything else in this whole world. 1) Pseduo-documentaries about people with strange diseases/talents and 2) Making lists.

So, I bring you....

Helen's Top 5 documentaries that you shouldn't really laugh at but you just can't help it:

1) I Married the Eiffel Tower - Truly the mac daddy of all TV programmes of this ilk. This programme focussed on objectum-sexuality, ie; people who like to do the nasty with fences, bridges, and even the Berlin Wall. A truly incredible piece of trash TV. At the end of the day, if a woman frotting herself against the Eiffel Tower doesn't fill you with joyous incredulity then you're no friend of mine. If you can find a copy of this online then I implore you to watch it. And then watch it again to convince yourself that you have actually just seen what you think you have.

2) There was an absolutely tremendous documentary on BBC1 (I think) about Narcolepsy. I think it was on in 2003 but I can't be sure. All I do know is that I was at University and me and my housemates recorded it. We then used to watch it virtually every time we got in after a night out. Perfect end-of-the-night viewing if ever I saw it. There was one particularly memorable scene where a lady called Brenda fell asleep in her roast dinner. Incredible.

3) Tourette's: I Swear I Can't Help It - The second BBC programme to focus on Tourette's sufferer, John Davidson. This programme made me cry, laugh and feel guilty for laughing, but then laugh a bit more. John Davidson is utterly loveable and I just wanted to give him a big hug. But I will not apologise for laughing when he shouted 'ARTHUR DALEY' when a lady from the Citizens' Advice Bureau mentioned him needing a minder.

4) Mad but Glad - This was an episode of Horizon that focussed on the fine line between creativity and chaos, focussing on Tourette's and OCD sufferers. You can watch it here and please, I implore you, skip to 39:50 (ish) and watch the bit where the guy adjusts the rear view mirror in the car. Also the bit where one of the men want's to touch the other one's glasses. "That's satisfied now, thankyou". Wonderful.

5) Muscle Worship - This was a Channel 5 'documentary' following a British woman who'd moved to Arizona and started a 'Muscle Worship' business. When she wasn't competing in bodybuilding competitions, she allowed men to book her for personal sessions. Personal sessions that included admiring and touching her muscles and being crushed by her ample thighs. It takes all sorts people, it takes all sorts.