Monday 12 October 2009

The scary age

 1) Poros 2) View from my room 3) Glastonbury 4) Ibiza

Me at 27...

Too loud. Too talkative. Too rude. Too sensitive. Too excitable.

I turn 28 in three weeks. Three weeks on Wednesday to be precise and I'm a little nervous. 28 has always been my 'scary age'. The age by which I thought I'd be married, maybe have children, definitely have my own house and a career to be proud of. So, married? Nope. Kids? Hell no. My own house? Again, nope. A career to be proud of? I'm getting there. 0.5 out of 4. E-. Could do better.

Or could I?

I've done more things this year that I'm proud of than ever before in my entire life. I've done, and am about to do, things that scare me, things that take me out of my comfort zone and challenge me. I've been accepted as a volunteer for a well known charity and I start my training next week. It's probably going to be the toughest thing I've ever done, and that includes learning to drive (I had about 70 hours of lessons. Yes, really), doing my law degree (I failed second year twice. Yes, really) and joining, and learning to love, the gym (I hadn't exercised in years. Yes, really). It's going to be emotionally draining, horrifying, upsetting and, hopefully, incredibly rewarding.

So, as the sun sets on yet another year, who am I? I laugh too much, make inappropriate jokes, make up songs and sing them to death. I like cheese too much. I listen to songs that I love on repeat until I don't love them anymore. I can't eat a meal without spilling it down me. I wear ridiculous jewellery and brightly coloured clothes. I fall in love too easily and put up with too much. I cry when I think about the thousands of people in this world who are incredibly lonely. I love pigs and hippos and warthogs. I make a thousand resolutions a day (and I'm learning to keep them). I'm loyal and caring and buying gifts for people is one of my favourite things to do. I dance in my car on the way into work in the mornings. I take the mickey out of the people I adore. I hate mushrooms, aubergines and coriander. I love New York City, Manchester, the Lake District and Nottingham.

At 27 I'm finally a person who believes in herself, who loves herself and who knows where she's going. I know my faults, my strengths and my weaknesses and I'm working on them every day.

At 27, I guess I'm finally happy. Bring it on, 28.