Sunday 11 October 2009


via Flickr

Five things:

1) I've had a euro 50 cent coin in my purse for weeks, probably months, now.Every time I see the little glint of tarnished gold I think it's a pound coin and dig it out to try and pay with it. Every time I see it's not a pound coin I get irritated. JUST TAKE IT OUT OF YOUR PURSE HELEN.

2) Whenever I'm listening to music on my iPhone and a particularly poignant song I imagine that I'm in a film and that music is the soundtrack. Particular favourites for this include 'You Got the Love' by Candi Staton and 'A Thousand Nights' by Gregor Tresher. It happened in the gym yesterday while I was on the treadmill. I am truly bizarre.

3) I cannot sleep in past 7.30am if I've been drinking the night before. This irritates me no end. No matter what time I go to bed I always wake up at 7 bloody 30. On occasion I do manage to drift off again but mostly I just lie there seething and then eventually kick off the duvet in a grump and get up.

4) I've lost six pounds in the last ten days (yes, I've looked down the back of the sofa, smartarse) and am feeling sprightly, slimmer and much more alert. My skin is also as clear as a very clear thing, which is nice. Best of all, for the first time ever in my whole life I simply don't want to eat junk food. This has never happened before and it frightens me, in a good way.

5) My hair is getting ridiculously long. Long and black and witchy. This, combined with my milky white complexion, means that I'm starting to resemble Morticia Addams. Or Cher. If I start wearing glitter, spandex, fringing or head-dresses please call someone immediately.