Saturday 13 December 2008

"And it hung in the sky like a star, just like a star..."

Merry Piggin' Christmas

Today is officially the beginning of Christmas.

I've got A Spaceman Came Travelling (my all time favourite festive song, fact fans) on full blast, I've just finished baking some cookies (me? baking? HA!), I've been doing the annual panic shop via numerous online treasure troves (I don't do queuing) and I've just spent 20 minutes drawing holly on a picture of a pig ornament. He's called Clarence and I think he's super.

He wishes you all an oinkingly good Christmas.

In the spirit of festive joy I'm having a list-a-thon:

Top 5 festive films:
  • Santa Claus the Movie. I won't hear a word said against it. Dudley Moore as an angry alcohol dependant elf, what says Christmas more effectively than that?
  • Scrooged. Bill Murray. Nuff Said.
  • Elf.... "Buddy the Elf! What's your favourite colour?!"
  • Home Alone.
  • Love Actually. Makes me laugh, cry and feel all warm inside. Plus I fancy Hugh Grant in it, which unnerves me. I like the challenge of feeling disgusted with myself.
Honourable mentions go to The Snowman and Father Christmas by Raymond Briggs. Because they're not actually films but they are incredible.

Top 5 festive choons:
  • A Spaceman Came Travelling by Chris de Burgh and his frightening face
  • 8 Days of Christmas by Destiny's Child (simply for the fact it is ludicrous)
  • All I Want For Christmas by Mariah Carey (plastic + valium + fake tan)
  • Stop the Cavalry by Jona Lewie
  • Fairytale of New York by the Pogues (god I'm such a cliche)
Honourable mentions go to Mistletoe and Wine by Cliff, that one by Wizzard and Ring Out Solstice Bells by Jethro Tull. Tune. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, however, is wrong on all levels.

Top 5 festive foods:
  • Lebkuchen. I could gorge on them until I was sick. Nice.
  • Florentines. Yum. It's become tradition to break out a box the minute the relatives leave on Christmas Day. And then eat them till we can't move and/or vomit.
  • Cheese! Because at Christmas you can eat as much cheese as you want and noone can judge you (apart from Santa).
  • Christmas dinner. I'm cheating and including it as one food. Roast potatoes, honeyed parsnips, sprouts with pancetta, 3 types of stuffing, turkey, gravy, bacon rolls, little sausages, cranberry sauce. Oh god, I'm salivating.
  • Mince pies with courvoisier cream. Sex on a plate.
Honourable mentions go to christmas tree chocolates, christmas pudding and turkey and gravy sandwiches. Yes, i'm a scumbag.

Top 5 festive drinks:
  • Mulled wine. Just be careful you don't choke on the cinnamon stick.
  • Baileys. I don't drink it at any other time of the year but I can get through a bottle on Christmas Day alone. And at only 4 million calories, who's counting?
  • Bucks Fizz. On Christmas morning. With presents.
  • Gin and tonic. Add a sprig of holly for added festive cheer.
  • That ageing bottle of ginger wine that's been at the back of the cupboard for 6 years. The one with the crust round the lid. The only thing left with alcoholic content by 3pm on Boxing Day.
Honourable mentions go to anything else containing alcohol. Christmas = booze.

Ooh, I enjoyed that. I encourage others to list their Christmas favourites. It will make you feel festive and/or very hungry. That's a promise from me to you.

And, because I'm a material girl (thanks, Madonna), here's my (non-exhaustive) Christmas list...
  • Mario Kart for the Wii. Please Santa, I've been a very good girl.
  • The Dark Knight on DVD. I need Christian Bale for Christmas. In vulcanized rubber. Yum.
  • This necklace.
  • These shoes. Please. I want to look like a high-heeled Dorothy on Christmas morn.
  • Mark Owen. Wearing nothing but very small black pants and a festive bow atop his lovely little head.
  • Snow.

Now I'm off to make 'Alex to win' badges for tonight with my magical laminator. Geek.