Sunday 19 July 2009

Small steps

I'm bored of myself.

Completely and utterly bored of myself. A few short months ago I absolutely loved the person I was. I was confident, happy and in control. I'd made such huge changes in myself in such a short space of time and I was so proud of myself. But I've let myself slip back into old habits. I've let myself think that I'm the problem. That I'm the one with the issues. But I'm not. I'm really, really not.

So it stops. Now.

I'm worth so much more than this. So, I'm going to get back on track. I'm going to get back on the weight loss wagon. The exercise wagon. The 'I'm fucking fabulous' wagon. Because I am, you know? I really, really am. And I refuse to let someone else's issues make me feel terrible about myself. Never again will I let someone else project their problems onto me, and make me feel like I'm the one with those problems.

So, some goals:
  • To lose a stone before one of my best friend's weddings. It's on 12th September. I will run, eat salads, refuse crisps and drink nothing but water and green tea until I'm 14 pounds of horrible fat lighter.
  • To take every opportunity that comes my way. I'm going to accept every invitation I get to go for drinks, dinner, cinema, etc. No more moping in the house for me.
  • To spend less time on the internet. There's a whole world out there and mooning over old blog posts and photos isn't going to enable me to see it.
  • To start painting again. I'm actually quite a talented artist when I put my mind to it and I miss being creative. So paint I shall. I might even do a series of paintings. I shall name them 'Adventures with an Imbecile.'
  • To laugh until I cry at least once a day. Even if it's only at my own jokes. Laughter is the best medicine.

I will find my way through this. And the best way to do that? By living a full and happy life.

I'm back. I hope.