Monday 30 November 2009

Honesty is the best policy

I've been tagged for an Honest Scrap award by the lovely Jeni, thankyou! I'm supposed to share “10 Honest Things” about myself and then nominate some people whose blogs I find brilliant in content and/or design, or those who have encouraged me.

I'm always completely honest (too honest sometimes) on here anyway but there are a few things that have been bugging me recently, so what better opportunity than this to overshare once more...

10 Honest Things About Myself:

1) I have very strong emotional reactions to certain songs, tv shows and types of food, etc, that remind me of  times gone by. For example, I can no longer listen to 'Kingdom of Rust' by Doves, drink Oyster Bay sauvignon blanc, eat halloumi or watch Black Books without falling into a pit of sadness.

2) I'm terrified that my Dad's cancer won't go away. He finishes his chemotherapy next week and then he'll have 'the scan' in January. It fills me with such abject horror that I just don't think about what comes next. I'm not sure I've ever actually admitted that before.

3) I spend a lot of money on shoes and jewellery. A LOT. I like pretty things on my feet, round my neck and wrists and on my fingers. I'm also incredibly fussy about the jewellery I wear and would only trust one or two people in my life to actually buy any for me.

4) I'm more self conscious of my appearance than ever before. Although I'm two stone lighter than I was three years ago I feel fatter than ever before. Conversely though, I'm far more confident than I have been in years. Probably because I dress better, accessorise better, wear nicer make up and have nice hair (fact, I always get compliments on it).

5) I don't go a day without wondering where he is, how he is and whether he ever thinks of me. I am plagued by thoughts of what could have been and it hurts. I'm not sure that I'll ever stop hoping.

6) I feel conflicted at the moment. One half of me wants to pack up and jet off for a year of travelling next year. The other half of me wants to buy a house and put down roots. My mind changes between the two daily and I have no idea what to do.

7) I use humour as a defence mechanism. I am variously crude, loud and sarcastic but, more often than not, that's just a front.

8) I believe that wishes can come true. Although I'm not sure that I believe in a God as such, I believe that there is something up there looking down on us. I believe in a higher power and the concept of fate. I believe that if you are a good person and do the best you can then good things will come to you.

9) One of my favourite snacks (when I wasn't on a diet) is melted cheese. In a bowl. On its own. Different types of cheese cut into chunks and melted (hence the need for the diet). I am a dirty pig.

10) I love my job. I geniunely enjoy going into work most mornings and, although I have my bad days (who doesn't) I feel really lucky to work where I do, and with the people I work with. A year ago I was unemployed and at the lowest part of, probably, my whole life. It's a very different story 12 months on.

So, there you go.

I nominate Miss Smidge, Lainey, Lis and LizSara. All of them super supportive and encouraging, always.