Wednesday, 18 November 2009


I started to write an email to you yesterday. I got as far as one word... "Hello"

Then I realised that I didn't know what to say. That I didn't know how to say what I want to say. What I need to say. So I stopped. And I tried to close the email.

"Your message has not been sent. Discard your message?"

So I clicked OK.

As soon as I discarded it I wondered why I'd felt compelled to even try to write it. Why yesterday, of all the days in the last few months? And then I realised...

It would have been our two year anniversary. Two years since that first date. That lunchtime drink that turned into a mid-afternoon Italian meal that turned into gin and tonics that turned into me on the train, drunk on both happiness and Bombay Sapphire, tipsily texting my friend B to tell her all about the boy I'd just met, that turned into me getting home and writing an entry on Livejournal...

"I met a boy.

I kind of like him.

No, I really like him.

Let all hell break loose...."

Silly girl, I had no idea how true those words were!

Does one word even count as a message? Maybe I should have sent it. Maybe one word can say more than a thousand words. Maybe one word can be an olive branch.



Alice said...

xxx don't know the history but this is very poignant. x

Chamuca said...

Yes, I don't know the history either. Next time we chat, you have to tell me.

List of things you have to tell me about:
1) Your hometown.
2) What this stupid boy did.

Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open said...

Part of getting over someone is writing the emails, letters and texts that you don't send. Keep them and one day you'll look back on your drafts folder and say 'thank god for that.' It might not feel that way, because you might see it as just a harmless hello. But I suppose you have to want to get over someone before you actually get over them.