Return of the... bag?

Remember bag-gate?


Well, guess what finally found its way home? MY SHOPPING!! Eleven days after I left my Primark shopping bag on the train bound for Glasgow, it popped through my letterbox! I honestly thought it was gone for good. I rang Glasgow Central train station first thing last Monday morning. The lady took my details but I could tell from the tone of her voice that she didn't think I had much hope of getting my stuff back.

The days went by and there was no word. I gave up on my lost goodies and resolved to shelling out the money all over again. All £65 worth. Then on Saturday I got a call. Six days after I left it on the train it had turned up in lost property. And so began the most convoluted process ever, involving cheques (who uses cheques any more, seriously!), stamped addressed envelopes and trips to the post office (and we all know how much I love the post office).

But right now I'm ridiculously happy. And my faith in humanity is completely restored. Reunited with Gossip Girl, my Topshop make up, my Batman jumper and other assorted Primark joy. So good.

I love it when nice things happen :D


I have, however, been left with a brand new copy of GG Series Two. I rebought it as couldn't bear to parted from it. Haha. If anyone would like to buy it off me, (£15) let me know!

Schönes Wochenende!

What does the weekend have in store for you my darlings?


I for one am looking forward to two days of pure unadulterated fun. Tonight I shall be mostly dying my hair to refresh my raven-ness, drinking water, eating wasabi peas, watching The Wire and possible indulging in a (small) glass of white wine. I know how to partay.

In truth though I'm merely saving myself for tomorrow. 12 girls. 1 city. Untold carnage. Yes, it's the Girly Manchester Blogging Tweet-Up. Or GMBTU as I like to call it. It just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? Although, coincidentally and completely uninterestingly that's the name of a Trade Union that I do cases for. I think they may have more important things to deal with than wine, pretty boys and high high heels though. Poor them.

Yes, today I am mostly speaking gibberish.

Why? Because I'm giddy. And why am I giddy? The sun is shining! Now all I can think about is Summer. Beer gardens, ice lollies, ice cold cider, barbecues, festivals, light nights, the smell of freshly cut grass lingering in the air. I cannot wait.


But first, the weekend cometh! Tell me your plans oh gorgeous ones!

The Best of 2009: Days 18 &19

Day 18: Best shop?

I do a lot of shopping. A lot. I buy shoes and handbags and jewellery like it's going out of fashion. It's something I need to try and curb if I'm ever to own my own house. I tend to do most of my shopping online as I can rarely be bothered to contend with queues of people (particularly at this time of year).

I can't really choose just one shop as I have lots of favourites but my top three are:

1) Alphabet Bags. I have the 'H' bag and the 'I refuse to participate in a recession' bag. I love them. Durable, roomy and a bit quirky. Plus the people who run the shop are utterly delightful and delivery is amazingly fast, always. Plus it's the sister site to Keep Calm Gallery, whose prints I covet on a daily basis.

2) ASOS.com. A huge range, varying prices to suit all budgets and the taker of a lot of my money this year. Oops.

3) Rock 'n Rose. Unusual jewellery at fairly cheap prices. Whenever I wear one of their creations I always get lots of compliments and where-did-you-get-thats. I am currently coveting the winter rose necklace.


Day 19: Best car ride?

Car rides were not my friend this year so it's hard to pick a best one. There was the horrific 13 hour odyssey to Glastonbury in June. Then there was the 4 hour journey to Nottingham on bonfire night (that should have taken an hour and a half) which resulted in me missing fireworks in the garden with my friend's gorgeous little son. Then there was every car ride to Liverpool where I felt nervous and sick and worried because I didn't know what I'd find when I got there, what mood would greet me, what I'd have done wrong.

The only car ride I can really remember enjoying is the taxi ride from JFK Airport to our apartment in Manhattan. Yes, that was pretty darn special actually.

You've got mail

Dear Post Office

I've just spent my lunch hour queuing to send two packages. One to Nottingham. One to Oregon. You normally have about ten staff on the counters but today, on the last day of international posting before Christmas, you had two. Many thanks for that. I so enjoyed my 55 minute queuing experience and I felt compelled to write and tell you all about it.

I really can't decide which was my favourite part. There was, of course, the extreme joy that erupted in my heart every time another person's mobile phone (set to super loud, naturally) started belting out a joyous rave tune (welcome to Warrington). This joy was only heightened by the fact that the owners of said phones couldn't find them, so rummaged in their bags looking for them for what felt like 4 hours. Hilarious.

Then there was my experience of the wonderful ticketing system that you've introduced. Now, instead of queuing like normal people, we have to take a ticket and brave the gauntlet of what feels like a giant deli counter. Only with less scotch eggs and nice cheeses and more despair, dismay and postage-filled horror. I'm sure you can imagine my joy when, upon inspecting my ticket, I saw that there were 31 people in the queue in front of me. Wonderful!

What made my post office experience even better though (if that's possible!) was the realisation that, of the three 'queues' of tickets (special delivery, counter services and travel money), there were only people queing for counter services. This, of course, meant that whenever a newcomer to the post office circus of devastation took a ticket for special delivery or travel money, they got to jump the queue and get served next. HA! HA! HA! How me and the other 356 people in the queue for counter services laughed.

Waiting for number 84 to be called by the monotonous droning voice was truly one of the most uplifting, life affirming and festive experiences of my whole life. Thankyou post office, you really are wonderful. Have a fantastic Christmas.

Yours,

Helen xxx

Today I have a little game for you...

Guess the fruit! (No, it's not a game involving gays)

Please note the 50p included for scale. Ha.

First person to get it right wins.... something. Probably. Maybe.

The picture above and the two below illustrate perfectly why my Mum quakes in fear when I volunteer to do the weekly shop. I always come back with at least one strange fruit (again, not a gay, I know enough of them already), at least one exorbitantly priced smoothie (but they have hats on! Who could say no?!) and some form of chocolate joy to feed to my poorly Dad. Other miscellaneous items I bought today include a 2 litre bottle of vimto, three types of cabbage and 12 sausages. NONE OF WHICH WERE ON THE LIST.

I laugh in the face of reason and shopping lists.

Today's post brought to you by... meat

Meat

I have lots of ideas spinning around my little head (actually, my head is deceptively large. Really, it's huge) but am too busy this evening to sit down and actually formulate sentences.

So, for now let me take you on a pictorial journey through my week, starting with the photo above. Some meat. In Subway. Nice. The rest of the photos that follow reveal a side of me that I'm not proud of. I laugh at words that sound even vaguely rude. And I mean really laugh. I have possibly the most immature sense of humour ever.

Actually this one's not that funny. It would however make a lovely present for the boyfriend. Well, about as lovely as a gift of a noticeboard gets at any rate.

SPLAY! Ha! (I'm ignoring the fact it clearly says display, that would be far less amusing to my innuendo loving mind)


And last but by no means least, the piece de resistance....



Nuff said.

In other news so far today I have managed to break a chair, fall up the stairs at work and eat my tea so fast that I burnt my tongue. I'm really not safe to look after myself.

That's all for me today folks. Here's a little playlist I made of songs that I currently bounce around the house too. Enjoy.

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

One size fits who?

I would like to bet that that one size right there would not fit me and my ample thighs.

"One size fits most"..... how disconcertingly vague.