Tuesday 11 August 2009

Rain keeps falling on my head

Apologies for the presence of my breasts in this photo

So, Summer then.

Not to be incredibly British or anything but the weather really has been pretty shocking hasn't it? Sitting where I do in my little office enables me to spend an inordinate amount of time staring glumly out of the window at the weather du jour (productive to the max). Sometimes I provide a running commentary on the same to my workmates. Lucky them. I bet you wish you worked with me don't you? One day two weeks ago there was rain, hail, sun, cloud, thunder and lightning all within the space of an hour. I'm sure you don't need me to describe just how informative and necessary my commentary was. I'm like the Michael Fish of the legal costs world. And I'm not talking about my penchant for tweed, leather arm patches and grossly over sized glasses.

To combat the gloom (although it's actually rather sunny today) I've compiled a list of the five best things about Summer. In no particular order. Except for the first one. Hot naked people is obviously number one.

1) People wear less clothes. Now, this isn't always a good thing. Many people (Vanessa Feltz, I'm looking at you) should be forced to wear the maximum amount of clothes possible at all times. This also extends to men who think it's ok to walk around the town centre topless. It's not ok. I don't want to see your faded bulldog tattoo, your pigeon chest or your t-shirt tan lines. But in many situations, less clothes = more perving opportunities. And who doesn't love a bit of perving.

2) Beer gardens. Wine. Cider. Sun. Benches. Grass. Afternoon drinking. WIN.

3) Costa Coffee's citrus fruits Frescato. Do they do these all year round? I don't know. But even if they do, I'd only want them in Summer. So cold they'll freeze your face off. In a good way.

4) Happiness. People are happier in Summer. This is a cold, hard FACT. Kind of. Sun = endorphins = happy. No matter what the problem is it never looks quite as bad when the sun is shining and the evenings are longer.

5) Ice cream vans. I may be in the minority here but I love hearing the sound of an ice cream van wending its way towards my abode. The tinkling sounds of 99s, screwballs, fruit pastille lollies and calippos. How can that not make the world a better place? Always beware an ice cream van that makes the rounds in Winter. They're quite clearly selling crack.