Friday 6 February 2009

Fat bottomed girls*

Photo by dazlambert

Weight loss this week: 3 lbs
Total weight loss: 9 lbs
Number of gym visits: 2 (Ugh)
Number of meals out: 0
Number of meals cooked for me by C: 3 (God bless him)
Units of alcohol: 0 (14 days without booze!)
Number of impure thoughts about wine: Surprisingly few

Praise be! Thank the lord! Hallelujah!

Finally my hard work is starting to pay off. 9lbs of fat confined to the great soap maker in the sky. Actually, that's a fairly horrible thought. I like to think soap made from my fat would have a delicate, feminine fragrance but, in reality, it'd probably smell like bacon and cab sav. Yum.
I wish I wasn't so reliant on the scales to provide me with gratification. I know that I'm eating better, exercising more, drinking less. As proof, my clothes are looser, my skin is clearer, I need less sleep. But, for some reason, I need to see those numbers shrinking in order to feel like this health eating lark is working. C laughs at me and says I shouldn't place so much emphasis on how much I weigh and more on how I feel but I need feedback, goddammit!!

Lovely gratifying feedback.

I'd actually lost 5lbs when I sneakily weighed myself a few days ago so gaining 2lbs back is obviously my punishment for being a cheeky gratification monkey. Plus losing 5lbs in a week is a bit much. I had to check I'd not misplaced one of my boobs when I saw the numbers fall that much. Thankfully the girls were both in their respective places so it was obviously just a fluke.

*I googled the lyrics to 'Fat Bottomed Girls' by Queen. Don't ask me why.

"Hey I was just a skinny lad
Never knew no good from bad
But I knew life before I left my nursery
Left alone with big fat fanny
She was such a naughty nanny
Heap big woman you made a bad boy out of me
Hey hey!"

Um, what?