Thursday, 10 February 2011

V Day




Valentine's Day. 

Two words that strike fear into the heart of singletons everywhere. Or not, y'know, depending on how overdramatic they are. With four days to go, I'm betting there are lots of men (and women) who are getting pretty panicky about what to get their current squeeze. Chocolates? Flowers? Lingerie? All standard and done to death.

Here's what I'd like to receive this V Day...


Yes. That is heart shaped cheese. And it is glorious. I bought my parents some for their Ruby Wedding Anniversary last year and it was delicious. Buy heart shaped cheese, assorted condiments and even vodka from the wonderful Godminster Vintage. Or, if you're feeling spicy, get your lover a heart shaped jar of Tracklements Chilli Jam. Say it with food, people. Say it with food.


Continuing with the food theme, buy me an English Cheesecake Company cheesecake and I'll more than likely marry you or promise you my first born (HA). However, I will not iron your shirts. Not even cheesecake is worth that.


If you're feeling wordy then Adopt a Word for your significant other. The words pictured are just a few of my favourites. Pig, in particular. Other words are available, etc etc. 'Love', maybe? Or 'simmering resentment'? Oh, that's two words isn't it? My bad.


Three words. MONSTER TRUCK DRIVING. Available at buyagift.co.uk and numerous other places, I really can't think of anything more romantic. I'm not sure I'm joking either. The best Valentine's Day present that I ever bought anyone was a Sphereing experience. If chucking yourselves down a hill in a giant ball of death doesn't say 'we love each other' then what the hell will?!


So, there you go kids. Helen's guide to romantic gifts for Valentine's Day. Basically, food, food, amusing words and near death experiences. Take note.


13 comments:

Pookie said...

Oh goddd just went on the cheesecake website. They look phenomenal. Will maybe have to attempt to make my own as I can't afford a £20 cheesecake!

Vicky said...

Oh wow! I want to do sphereing! You've got a link to it and all! Oh wow! (Don't mind me, I just get slightly overexcited by weird things)
Plus the monster truck driving looks incredible too! I've got to bookmark this post! If/when I get a bf, this post will be compulsory reading :D

Leigh said...

Tracklements Chilli Jam*, cheesecake and sphereing - will you be my Valentine?!

Last year my boyfriend bought me a Firesteel. I probably should have taken that as a warning sign and gotten out of there!

*The onion marmalade is also yum!

Caroline said...

Thanks for that, just made me laugh out loud. Hope you don't mind me linking to your post as one of three things that made me smile today. Thank you! Caroline x

Ash said...

hahaha that made me laugh. I would actually LOVE a monster truckk experience, if thats asking too much, then I guess I would settle for a heart shaped cheescake!! lol
x

em said...

its my friends girlf's birthday on valentines day. she's asked him if they can go rally car driving for it. he tells me thats how he knew she was a keeper!

Nicola said...

Ha, I bought my boyfriend a heart shaped cheese for £1 from Morrison's! We both love buying cheese from farmers' markets so it's a bit of a reference to that.

Last year my boyfriend took me to Robin Hood's Bay for the weekend. It was a complete surprise until we were half way there and I wondered why he was driving the wrong way to get to his house. :)

Aled said...

I adopted a word for my wife for Valentine's day (or maybe the anniversary of when we first got together, 10 days later). I adopted 'Lush' for her! (I'm also hoping that she doesn't read your blog or that's the surprise gone!)

Filipa said...

Haha, Helen your writing cracks me up- it's so witty and funny! I got Mr a board game for valentines- boooring, especially compared to monster truck!? Seriously, am I like the worst girlfriend ever?? :P haha!

Hello Bee said...

I love this, makes a change from all the standard choc/underwear posts! Have you seen the heart shaped cucumber Sainsburys have created? AMAZING SANDWICH OPPORTUNITIES!

I do love the sudden excess of pink/heart shaped things around VDay, as I love heart shaped everything anyway, so I stock up on new bits and pieces. This year I bought myself a pink heart shaped mixing bowl for V Day, it is amazing!

Susie Q said...

I am currently sitting here, drooling at the thought of the "strawberry clotted cream pavlova" cheesecake. Yummee!! If I wasn't on a semi-health kick at the moment, I'd boy it right now. And eat it all by my lonesome.

Cos that's how I roll.

Sarah said...

Hellooo I just spotted you over on A Little Bird Says! Just wanted to say thanks for the 'Adopt A Word' link, what a great idea! :)

For Valentine's, we made a massive quiche and ate it all ha!

Sarah x

Lil said...

What an excellent gift guide! I'm saving this for next year. X