Today I have a little game for you...

Guess the fruit! (No, it's not a game involving gays)

Please note the 50p included for scale. Ha.

First person to get it right wins.... something. Probably. Maybe.

The picture above and the two below illustrate perfectly why my Mum quakes in fear when I volunteer to do the weekly shop. I always come back with at least one strange fruit (again, not a gay, I know enough of them already), at least one exorbitantly priced smoothie (but they have hats on! Who could say no?!) and some form of chocolate joy to feed to my poorly Dad. Other miscellaneous items I bought today include a 2 litre bottle of vimto, three types of cabbage and 12 sausages. NONE OF WHICH WERE ON THE LIST.

I laugh in the face of reason and shopping lists.

That Friday feeling

Friday, lovely Friday!


It's been a while since I've done a 'stuff that makes my face happy list' and what better time to do it than on a Friday lunchtime, as the clock ticks ever closer to being released from employment prison!

• My training for the charity is going amazingly well. I'm really really enjoying it and although I know it's going to be extremely challenging and, at times, upsetting I can't wait to move on to the next stage and actually start taking some calls. Already I can feel that the way I interact with people has changed for the better and the topics we cover are opening my eyes to things I'd never even thought about before.
  
• My birthday was wonderful, in all respects. I got some amazing presents, had lots of wonderful meals out and got to spend time with virtually all of my favourite people. My waistline hasn't thanked me this week but nice cakes, pizza and burgers are what birthdays are made for! This week I'm all about the nettle tea, brown rice and lots and lots of fruit.

Where the wild things were...

• Linus in hats. Is there anything better than drawing hats onto photos of the best cat ever? No. No, there isn't. I now want an exotic shorthair kitten more than I want a teacup pig. But only just.

• Drench. A simple yet disgustingly addictive game that will steal your life.
  
• Learn Something Every Day. Full of entertaining and surprising nuggets of information, presented in cartoon neon technicolour, which is always the best way to make people learn things.  My favourite is the following. Because I'm a bawdy little monkey.
  

• Miscellaneous other things include: 'The Men Who Stare At Goats', great film; grapefruit for breakfast; these boots, I like animal-themed clothing, whatevs; Neutrogena 6 hour protection lip balm, the only thing that keeps my smackers moisturised in this cold weather; taking photographs, 365 has completely invigorated my love!; Ben & Jerry's frozen yoghurt; edamame with wasabi; Vitamin B6; brightly coloured pens and nice notebooks; The Inbetweeners, as ever; spicy chilli peanuts and.... the Miike Snow album, particularly Black & Blue. It makes me cry slightly.

PS: Don't forget that my giveaway ends at 9pm tonight if you'd like to enter!

Lest we forget...

"They shall not grow old, as we that are left grow old. Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn. At the going down of the sun and in the morning. We will remember them."

Remembrance Day always holds a special place in my heart. My Great Uncle fought in the First World War. Fought and lost his life. He fought at Ypres and, as his final resting place is unknown, his name is listed on the Menin Gate. I visited once, when I was 12 or 13. A school trip to Belgium and the Battlefields. Passchendaele, the Somme, Tyne Cot cemetery, the Last Post at the Menin Gate. It was one of the most moving and thought provoking experiences of my entire life.

So today I will be silent for two minutes for him. For him and all the other men. The Brothers, the Sons, the Fathers, the Uncles and the Grandfathers. Those who lost their lives to enable us to be here now. And for those men and women who are still fighting and who will continue to fight in the future.


Never forget.


http://www.poppy.org.uk/

The one with the year long cold...

via lauren_measure

I've had a cold for 11 months and 9 days.


How do I remember the day it started? It was the first day of my job. 1st December last year to be utterly precise. 9am to be annoyingly utterly precise. I walked into the office (probably having fallen over on the way up the stairs, I have a habit of doing that) and BOOM! Bright lights, cold city. Almost a year of sniffles, sneezes, constant blocked nose, sore eyes and approximately 12 tubs of vaseline (for my chapped lips, filth monger) (the lips on my face, fyi) and I am so bored of it I could cry.

I take vitamins (multi and B6), I drink at least two litres of water every day, I eat plenty of fruit and vegetables, I (usually) get 7 hours of sleep a night. So what am I doing wrong?

Why has this affliction taken hold of my nose?

I've tried Sudafed, Vicks, Sinex, Olbas Oil, Paracetamol, Nurofen and honey & lemon and none of them have worked for more than a couple of hours. What else can I do to rid myself of this beastly virus? 

Yours,

Sniffly of Snotsville xx

Get your freak on

 I will eat your crusts before your sensuous cheese interior

Ways in which I am a freak:

• I get really annoyed when people refer to Disney World (in Florida) as Disney Land. REALLY ANNOYED. World and Land are not the same.
  

• If I'm eating food that is round (a pizza, a burger, a jaffa cake, a wheel of cheese) I have to eat all the way round the edge first. This may make me look like a big mental but it means I get all the good stuff at the end. No dry crusts for this little lady, nosirree, just pure unadulterated joy. NB: This does not extend to sprouts, cranberries, carrot slices or grapes.
  

• I am genuinely upset that Mark Owen has got married. I've basically been in love with him since I was 10 years old. I may wear a black veil for the next week or two and occasionally wail loudly to show my abject sorrow.
  

• I went to Marks & Spencer to grab a sandwich for lunch and actually applauded when I saw that the festive sandwiches are in! Santa's Turkey Feast? Yes please! And the festive looking 'Piglet Party' sweets were almost enough to render me paralysed through excitement.

Do you have any slightly odd habits that you'd like to entertain me with on this Monday afternoon?