Wednesday, 18 May 2011


Dudes. I'm getting fat. Again.

It's hard for me to write this but I'm eleven pounds heavier than I was before Christmas. ELEVEN POUNDS. This displeases more than you can ever know. Hence why I'm putting it out there on THE INTERNET. So that it forces me to sort myself out and step away from the takeaways. Since I've been living on my own it's just become all too easy to order in, rather than make the meals that I know are good for me. I've finally got to the point where I'm disgusted with myself so it's onwards and upwards from here.

I did the Great Manchester Run on Sunday and, whilst I was pleased to finish it at all (I've never been a natural runner), I was annoyed with myself for not training enough and for not finishing in a good enough time. I'm ridiculously competitive at times and am infuriated that I didn't do it in under an hour. I totally loved the experience though and I think I might actually adore running a little bit now.

It's seven and a half weeks until I go on holiday (MARBS <3) and so I have a plan. This plan is called exercise. Lots of it. Oh, and eating well, obviously.

With that in mind I started the 30 Day Shred today and, whilst it wasn't quite as hard as I expected it to be, I know that my thighs will be agony in the morning. Jillian Michaels is my nemesis for the next 30 days and beyond. I have a bit of a girl crush on her actually. SHOUT AT ME JILLIAN, PLEASE. Ahem. I'm also signed up for a 5k in three weeks time and I'd really like to do it in under 30 minutes. I'm being badgered by my friend T to do a ten mile run in October and am seriously considering it. RUNNING WILL SAVE ME.

I'm bored of being flabby, bored of being overweight and bored of feeling rubbish about it. My body confidence actually soared towards the end of last year. I was thinner than I'd been in about 15 years and felt amazing. A few words sent me crashing right back down and that's where I've been ever since. Hence the takeaways. When I feel rubbish, I eat rubbish. It's the ultimate vicious cycle.

But I'm done with it now.


Alex said...

Good luck with it! I'm fluctuating up and down a bit at the moment and finding it very annoying.

Dellers said...

The best thing is that you know you can do this. It's so easy to fall off the wagon! Am back on the healthy band wagon myself. Let's motivate each other missy.
Good luck and well done for the brave admission. Half the effort!

bronchia said...

You wait 'til you're trying to do level 3 at Natalie level. It takes 'til day 3 of that level to even feel that all the moves are possible in unmodified format.

Nics Notebook said...

I do the 30 day shred too but just dip in & out of it - I do like it! Good luck with the exercise & eating better - going on holiday gives you a great goal to work towards :) x

Emma said...

Good luck with the 30 day shred I found it quite hard and don't have the motivation to do it again! And congratulations on completing the great Manchester 10k that's something to be proud of!

Magatha-May said...

best of luck hon. It's always so demotivating to put up weight after working so hard to lose it, but I love that you're getting out there are tackling it again. I've been on the wagon since January and while I am keeping up with the exercise part my diet has gone to crap. I really should try a little harder to keep everything balanced.

G said...

Good luck! I got down to my pre-uni weight before Easter and felt great for about oooh a fortnight. Then I started on my dissertation, stopped the gym, and have been having so many takeaways it shames me (I could have bought a bag or pair of shoes with what I've spent in the past month...) Unsurprisingly, confidence is rock bottom, self loathing riding high.

You look AMAZING though, so don't listen to that negative criticism - I'm blown away by your plans and its really great that you enjoy running :) Keep us updated on the 30 day shred, I'm intrigued! xx

Rachel said...

Good Luck with the weight loss, and congrats on the ten Km run! thats amazing, i probably couldn't even walk that far!


Sarah Rooftops said...

Good luck with it! I'm having to think about food and exercise habits now for the first time and it's SO FRUSTRATING!

Sophie said...

Good luck with the running! Well dome for doing something about it rather than just moaning! Something I am guilty off!

I know what its like to put on weight, I seem to do it in a heartbeat. Ive put on 8 pounds since christmas which is crap beens I lost 11 pounds just before christmas. I have started back on the dreaded diet amd its so hard. But it will be worth it when I am a skinny minnie!


Amy said...

Good luck, Helen. You are fabulous and will drop that eleven pounds WAY before those seven weeks are up — and probably then go on to lose some more.

If there's anything I can do (Not sure what, but if there is...) just let me know x

maddie said...

I know exactly how you feel when you say you're bored with being heavier than you'd like. I'm in exactly the same situation but luckily (?) for me I have the incentive of getting married in August, so I have no choice but to sort myself out. I seriously do not want to be sat there on my weddign day feeling rubbish about my body and ruining my own day! I've bought the shred dvd, and have been doing the Dukan for 5 days now. I'm already feeling so much better! good luck with it and let us know how you get on won't you?

xxx Maddie

Cat said...

I too am fluctuating, annoyingly, and while not overweight in BMI terms, do feel "fleshy" and generally yuck. I'm going to make a concerted effort with eating and exercising from next week. Good luck, and don't forget how fabulous you actually look RIGHT NOW - those "before and after" pics you posted were incredible.

comingupeasy said...

Well done with your run! I think signing up for races are definitely a good way of getting motivated to do something about exercise and shifting a few pounds. Although it didn't quite work out that way for the 5k race for life I just did. Maybe I need to conquer a new distance now!!
I just bought Jillans 30 Day Shred. I'm a little scared to start it!!!

Missy said...

Well said.... I'm in the exact same position, i don't feel good, I feel like I'm nver going to be able to be so self concious about my body and I have tried so much but one way or the other I lose focus, keep it up you can do it!!!