Au Revoir '08!

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The Big Fat Massive Review of the Year

So, I've had a bit of time on my hands today and, more for my own benefit than anyone else's, I've reviewed my year, month by month. A pictorial journey through my year, if you will...

January

The year began with a bang. I was in Liverpool and very very drunk. The merriment continued into New Years Day night and I saw 2ManyDJs at the Warehouse Project with my two favourite Chris's. Marvellous. The rest of the month involved nursing a poorly man back to health, falling ridiculously in love and eating a lot of cheese and biscuits.

I started the year looking like this. Angel faced, aren't i?

February

This month included seeing Basement Jaxx, Simian Mobile Disco, The Whip, Mr Scruff and the Editors. I had exams to do which sucked the very life out of me. 5 in 5 days! Vile. I had the most perfect Valentines Day ever in the Lake District. There was a walk up a very big hill, a lovely picnic and pints of disconcertingly coloured cider in a cozy pub.

March

During March I saw the Guillemots, who were ace. James Zabiela and Danny Howells were also witnessed at Paradise Factory. March was not a good month. Lies were uncovered and trust was broken. But things were rebuilt eventually.

April

April was ace. I took the man to the Leeds Malmaison for his 30th. We ate in the restaurant and it was pretty much the nicest meal I've ever had. I had terrine to start and it was accompanied by chutney. In a copper pot. Cue much hilarity and Oswald Copperpot impressions. The Malmaison has the best selection of cheese in the world. Fact. April also saw a visit to Chester Zoo where I was dismayed to discover a distinct lack of hippos. Boo.

May

May was one of my favourite months of the year. We went to see Booka Shade and Sasha at the Warehouse Project and it pretty much blew me away. The night was followed by one of the most perfect weekends I've ever had. There was wine, laughter, breakfast at The Tavern and a lovely long walk in the park. I love a good long walk.

May also saw a visit to Dublin. Dublin was rainy, cold and so expensive I could have wept. But the flights were only £15 and we did have a delightful Indonesian meal. In fact, Dublin was all about the food. We went for less than 48 hours but managed to consume a McDonalds breakfast, a chinese buffet, the most expensive fish and chips in the world (17 euros!), a fry up and the aforementioned Indonesian. There was also a lot of cider and Jamesons drunk.

Other highlights of the marvellous month of May included seeing The Wombats, The Whip and discovering Star Wars lego on the x-box. It was also the month that saw me dye my hair black. I've not looked back. I love being a raven haired minx.

Dublin

June

June was also a fairly fabulous month. We had a truly perfect weekend camping in the Lake District. We cooked sausages, had a pub lunch, had scones with clotted cream and jam, drank gin and tonic and red wine and went for a fantastic walk up another big hill. It was beautiful and magical and the happiest I was all year. Glastonbury also took place in June and it goes without saying that it was amazing. Highlights included Jay-Z, Kate Nash, The Whip, the cider, the laughter, the sun and the pies. Oh, the pies!

Beautiful Ullswater

July

I got my Legal Practice Course results in July. I was shocked to say the least when I got a Distinction. I was not expecting that at all. I got bought champagne and dinner by the boy and I don't think I've ever felt more proud of myself. Other July highlights included going camping to Shell Island and my perfect Grecian holiday. I don't really have the words to express how wonderful it was. Sun, sea, sand, my soulmate. Nuff said.

August

August was the month of the festival. Bloom, V and Creamfields. Bloom was rainy, windy, small but lovely in every respect. Roisin Murphy, London Breakbeat Orchestra, Beardyman and Altern-8. Via pies, cider, hours spent laughing in the tent and fancy dress. V was as I expected, massive and very very commercial. But I loved it all the same. Mud, Girls Aloud, Muse, Maximo Park, mud, cider, wine, mud, lots and lots of camping stove cooking. Creamfields was loud, muddy and full of chavs. Quelle surprise. I got my purse stolen. But it was also ace. Fatboy Slim and Underworld were the main highlights for me.

September

The less said about September the better. I thought things were ok. He felt otherwise. Life as I knew it ended.

September doesn't deserve a photo.

October

October was simply the aftermath of September. I did see Dylan Moran, however, and that perked me up somewhat.

November

This was a better month. I started to get a grip of myself. I turned 27 and resolved to make some very big changes in my life. I finally got a job, started to laugh a bit more and realised that there's actually quite a lot to love about me. I had some good nights out, saw Roisin Murphy again and danced. Dancing makes everything better.

I ended the year looking like this. Goth.

December

And so, here we are. December has been a confusing month, to say the least. And I get the feeling the confusion will continue for a while yet. But it's been a good month. I am a lot more together than I have been for years. I have some very real, very personal goals to achieve in 2009 and I'm looking forward to getting started.

In short, I am ever hopeful for better things...

"For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup of kindness yet,
For auld lang syne!"

And to all a good night...

Swag

I am currently in possession of one extremely painful grazed knee. Sadly I'm not in possession of the memory of how it happened. I blame the new shoes, cobbled Cheshire streets and my own lack of grace. Whatever you do, don't mention the 'S' word. And by the 'S' word I mean Sambuca. Just typing the word brings me out in a cold sweat.

Moving on...

Christmas was lovely. Really lovely. Which came as a complete shock as there are normally at least two arguments by the time the first bucks fizz is popped and the first wrapping paper is ripped greedily from the present beneath. The day was calm, cheerful and completely uneventful. Bliss. A moment of hilarity ensued when, after having watched an hour and a half of Mamma Mia, my Dad suddenly noticed that all the songs were by Abba. Nil pois for knowledge of films, Dad. Nil pois. I got lovely presents, bar the ubiquitous gloves, socks and bath stuff. Yesterday was spent quite literally glued to Mario Kart and I'm now suffering from a severe case of Wii arm. Painful stuff, people.

I'm off to weep into my own hangover. Until i return, enjoy Suzy's Christmas Day rant. 'Poisonous button mushroom' and 'vinegar lips' being my personal highlights...

There was only one thing missing from my Christmas. Or should I say one person. Only 3 more days of 2008 left. Maybe then the slate can finally be wiped clean. My wish for 2009 is for forgiveness and a chance to be a better person. To erase the bad and create good. Do Christmas wishes come true?

"Make my wish come true..."

As of 12.30pm today I am work free until next year. Next year!

Post-work gin and tonic? Check.

Festive lunch out with work colleagues? Check. (Well I say festive but in reality it was a burger and chips. Nothing says Christmas quite like a slab of meat on a bun though does it. Festive slaughter.)

Presents bought, wrapped and under the tree? Check.

Marvellous. It would seem I'm all ready for tomorrow. All that's left to do is to wear my new shoes (£60 reduced to £35. EVERYTHING TO ME.) and feel like Dorothy on Christmas morn. Via a visit to the local pub tonight for the yearly bitch fest. Ex students from my school converge on one specific pub every Christmas Eve. Hundreds of them. And we stand in little groups discussing who's married/pregnant/got fat/dead/gay/in prison. Fake air kisses abound as people greet each other like long lost friends, when in reality they can barely remember each others' names. And I intend to sit in the corner with a pint of cider and soak it all up.


I hope you all have a peaceful and wonderful festive time and that you eat, drink, dance, laugh and love to your hearts' content. Because if you can't do it at Christmas, when can you? Excess = success.


Merry Christmas everyone!!

Christmas: a photographic tale of joy

What's better than that wrapping paper? Nothing. That's what. DJ-ing snowmen are all I need in my life right now.

Where the magic happens and the money shot. Respectively.

A joyful candle. Next to the card from my parent that accuses me of being a 'lovely daughter'. I am no such thing. It also has a badge. I shall wear it on Christmas morn whilst drunk and abusive and see if they still think I'm so 'lovely'.

In your face, compliments!

Nothing says Christmas quite like a row of 4 million santas on a mantelpiece. Note my advent calendar (looking disconcertingly like it's about to knock the 1970s carriage clock off). I'm 27.

Ah, the dreaded bowl of nuts. I eat the walnuts. Mum eats the almonds. Nobody can crack the brazil nuts open. The hazelnuts get thrown away each year without fail. I pity them and their little round souls.

Baubles at the Trafford Centre. Well there has to be something pretty to look at while you're queuing your life away in John Lewis on the night before Christmas Eve. I did get a pack of tags for 25p though. Reduced from £1. Who said the credit crunch was all bad? Ich liebe recession.

Escalation sensation.

Merry Christmas from the Behemoth!


It wants your soul.