Full circle

I had a strange moment on Thursday.


You see that hat in the picture above? I wore that hat on my first date with C, way back in 2007. Before we met he'd seen a photo of me wearing it and mocked it. In that 'I like you so I'm going to pull your pigtails' way that boys do. So of course I wore it when I went to meet him. Because girls secretly like it when boys we like mock us in that way.

After that November afternoon I couldn't find the hat. I was sad for it was my favourite hat. Over the course of our relationship I used to joke with C that he'd thrown it out, in a fit of hat envy. (I genuinely suspected he had hatnapped it though)

I looked everywhere for that hat. It was nowhere to be found. I moved on. There were other hats. But they never fulfilled me in quite the same way. My hat was lost. Somewhere along the way, in the midst of relationship worries and traumas, I lost myself too.

I found the hat on Thursday. It had fallen down the back of my chest of drawers. Seeing it gave me a strange feeling, it transported me back to a time when love was beginning to blossom. Before things got broken and confusing and crazy.

This is the photo that C saw of me, before we even met. I look like a completely different person. I barely recognise myself in this photograph. By the time our relationship ended I recognised myself even less.

It feels like everything's come full circle. I'm not lost any more. And neither is my hat.


This post was brought to you by the realisation that one year ago today was the last time C told me he loved me. It was also the first time he'd properly admitted it.

Life's a funny old game, isn't it?

Ich liebe...

Love is...


... Going to Edinburgh for the bank holiday weekend with some of my favourite ladies. I'm flying up and am ridiculously excited. I've never been on a plane on my own! Yes, I am a loser. Things I intend to do: drink Irn Bru, look up boys' kilts, dance my little socks off.
... My new Lazy Oaf t-shirt. Chicken drumsticks for the win.
... Glastonbury in four weeks time. Cider! Pieminister! Bands! Boys! Blistering sunshine! (Please?)
... Blogging. I am loving it at the moment. I've discovered some glorious blogs this week and I've got my blogging mojo back. Hurrah. (I've used the word blogging too much haven't I? Gah! And again!)
... Being able to fit into all the clothes in my wardrobe. For the first time ever. All those things that I bought and thought 'Ooh I'll slim into that' now actually fit me. Tre-mendous.
... Curly hair. For the first time in my life I'm embracing my natural curliness and I'm absolutely loving it.
... Smiling. It's my favourite.


I hope you all have a fabulous weekend! xxx

The Green Fairy

I don't often do reviews of products here. Mostly because the things I seem to get offered aren't things that I have any interest in (or that I think you'd want to read about). However, when I was offered the chance to sample some absinthe by the Absinthe-Shop I thought I'd give it a go.

I've tried absinthe a fair few times in my life. The first time was at our local student pub when I lived in Nottingham. I like to pretend the absinthe is the reason I don't remember getting home that night but, in reality, it's probably the 12 cheeky vimtos I'd had previously. The second time I tried absinthe was in Prague. Now that was some vicious alcohol. I bought a bottle home for my boyfriend at the time, P. We developed a penchant for drinking absinthe and cloudy lemonade before a night out. I think I really can blame that for the nights I don't remember getting home.

I was sent a bottle of Lemercier Absinthe 72 (yes, the 72 stands for 72% proof) and asked to drink it in the 'traditional way'. Which basically means pouring water through a sugar cube which is sitting atop an absinthe spoon. The water dissolves and mixes into the absinthe below, which changes the translucency of the drink, forming a louche.

My Dad's hands, I swear. I don't have giant man hands

You're supposed to use a sugar cube but, given that I don't live in a posh tearoom, granulated sugar on a teaspoon was my alternative. Although it does make it look rather like me and my Dad were prepping some smack. Which is nice. But it worked! And I drank it. And now I'm a little bit tipsy. I think adding the sugar to it actually makes it quite drinkable, despite the potent nature of absinthe. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to have a little lie down...

*If anyone would like to treat themselves to a little dalliance with the Green Fairy then the lovely folks over at Absinthe-Shop.com are offering a 10% discount until 30th June 2010 with the use of the code FMBLUV10.

Splashing around

This weekend....

Sun! Sun! SUN!! // Splashing in my paddling pool... best £2.95 I've ever spent // Red toenails // Barbecues x2 - chicken, marinated pork steaks, homemade burgers, peppers, cucumber, feta cheese <3 // Sunbathing // Sunburn // Sunstroke // Garden appreciating // Photograph taking // Homemade lime iced tea // Ice cold water // Barbecued pineapple with lime juice squeezed over it (try it... NOW!) // Doing absolutely nothing that I needed to do and revelling in it // A tiny pang of longing for the Summer of 2008 // Lots and lots and lots of sleep...

I don't want to be in work right now.


How was your weekend, my loves?

"The world passes by in my Summer..."