An Open Letter

Dear C

A friend and I were talking the other night, discussing various things. The conversation inevitably turned to boys. We girls like to talk about boys. "Tell me the top ten things you want in a man", she said. I thought and I thought and then I gave her my list of ten magical qualities.

And then I realised that I'd just described you.

1) Short in stature. Not freakishly short and definintely not shorter than me. But short.
2) Dark hair and features.
3) Hairy. You converted me to the wonder of a hairy chest and gorilla like legs.
4) A wonderful cook and knowledge of good wine.
5) Daft. Silly. Immature on occasion. Able to make me laugh till my sides hurt and tears stream down my cheeks.
6) A good job and a passion for that job.
7) A love of dance music and dancing till dawn occasionally. But also a love of nights in with a good meal, nice bottle of wine and a film.
8) The ability to make the perfect gin and tonic. It's all about the limed rim.
9) A love of British comedy (Peep Show, I'm Alan Partridge, Black Books) and willingness to watch an entire series in one sitting.
10) Geekish tendencies.

See? That's you in a nutshell.

I miss you. I'm probably not supposed to say that, but I do.

I just thought you should know.

Helen xx


PS: I wish you could see me now. I'm more 'me' than I've ever been before. I've become the girl I always told you I was, underneath all the crazy. I knew she was in there.

You spin me right round...

An entirely different kind of spinning

It's been four long, salad-filled weeks since my fat realisation and this post. Actually, that's a lie. I don't think I've had any salad at all. I have had more broccoli than you can shake a stick at though. And, save for the week when I was a flu ridden monster, I've been to the gym at least three times a week. Plus, I went spinning last night, which not only enables me to cross off one of my Big 50 (tm) but was also simultaneously the most  horrendous and incredible experience of my entire life.

It went something like this...

Five minutes into it I thought I was going to pass out.
Ten minutes into it I thought I was going to be sick.
Twenty minutes into it I nearly fell off my bike.
Thirty minutes into it I suddenly realised that hideous sensation I was experiencing was EVERY SINGLE OUNCE OF FAT ON MY BODY JIGGLING AT ONCE.
Forty minutes into it I was convinced death had come for me.
Forty five minutes into it, it was over and I could barely walk.

Two hours later I felt like I was invincible and couldn't wait to go again.


I can honestly say that I've never felt more positive and more determined than I do right now. I know it's going to take me a long long time to be the weight I want to be and, more importantly, to be as fit as I want to be (in a healthy way, not a PHWOOARR way (although that would be nice too)) but I'm going to do it this time. I'm going to keep the diet chat to a minimum on this blog as I know most people aren't really that bothered about whether I've eaten 24 pork pies in the last week or not (I haven't). So I'm just going to do a little update now and again...

Total weight loss: 10 lbs
Number of gym visits in the past week: 3
Number of bad thoughts about food: Absolutely none. I am pumped for healthiness!
Units of alcohol in the past week: 2 (Woop)
Number of impure thoughts about wine: Again, none. Shocking, I know.

Hello Winter

Is there anything better in this world than a massive roast dinner? 

No, no there isn't. Chicken (including crispy skin, HELLO THIGHS YOU JUST GREW), stuffing, peas, carrots, roast potatoes, leeks and broccoli. Topped with approximately a gallon of gravy and liberal sprinklings of salt and pepper. Heaven on a plate.

As I was leaving work today the sky was turning navy blue and night was beginning to fall. With the losing of the hour comes short days, long nights and a chill in the air. Warm Winter coats are brought out from the back of the wardrobe, favourite scarves are remembered and wrapped round chilly necks, gloves and hats are rediscovered and added to the daily paraphernalia of your average commuter. Gingerbread lattes and cheery red cups make their annual return to Starbucks. Mulled wine becomes an acceptable beverage to drink, at all times of day. It keeps you warm, you see? Therefore it doesn't make you an alcoholic if you imbibe it in all its heavenly spicy glory at 2pm on a weekday afternoon.

I adore Winter. Although it may still technically be Autumn, it doesn't feel like it. I feel the urge to wear old lady slippers, slip on a big chunky cardigan and nestle onto the sofa in front of the fire. I'm already planning Christmas presents and have bought a fair few. It's wonderfully cosy when I get home from work and the smell of dinner has never been so welcome. But still this time of year is terribly hard. Memories of two years ago when everything was new and shiny and exciting. When a text message could send my heart into my throat. Long dinners and even longer lunches. Wine and gin and dancing and laughter. The beginning of falling in love. Within three weeks my heart was already his.


In many ways, it still is.

The Big 50

 28, staring me in the face. The swine.

At the moment I seem to be scarily conscious of time passing. The year of 28 approaches like an unstoppable warthog with a particularly inviting piece of lush grass in its gaze. To try and stop it would only enrage it. Nobody enjoys an enraged warthog.

What am I talking about? It's anyone's guess. But, I do have a point, I swear. It's just hard to find amongst the lush grass. Basically, I want to do more stuff. I want to experience things I've never experienced before. So, with that in mind, I've devised a list of 50 things that I want to do before I turn 29. The only rule I gave myself was that they have to be things I've never done before. So, without further ado, I give you....


50 things to do before I turn 29...


1) Live in another country, if only for a couple of months

2) Lose 4 stone in weight. (achieved 21/08/10)

3) Buy a DSLR camera AND actually learn how to use it properly

4) Go spinning (completed 27/10/09)

5) Run in a 5km Race for Life. (completed 19/06/10)

6) Eat a portobello mushroom with stilton on it (I hate mushrooms but C always promised to make me one that I'd like, so I figure I'll do it myself)

7) Go on a ghost walk

8) Learn how to make treacle toffee. I tried once when I was about 11. All I'm saying is this... we had to throw the saucepan out. (completed 16/10/10)

9) Go and hear some jazz at Matt & Phred's.

10) Buy myself a name necklace from Tatty Devine. Or, even better, get bought one by someone else. (Ordered a baby blue one on 03/01/10)

11) Go ice skating at an outdoor rink this Winter. (Completed 03/12/09)

12) Go for afternoon tea somewhere fancy. (Completed 30/12/10)

13) Visit London for a few days, with the sole purpose of having lots of fun. The next four tie in with this one... (Completed 25-27/04/10)

14) Try a macaron from Laduree, to see what all the fuss is about. Verdict: I think I prefer Paul's. Don't tell anyone though.

15) Go to Borough Market (It wasn't open! Next time!)

16) Visit the Wellcome Collection. Verdict: LOVED IT.

17) Buy myself something ludicrous and decadent from Fortnum & Mason. (I bought some very expensive ginger green tea, in a fancy tin)

18) Go back to New York, relive all the wonderful memories and make some new ones.

19) Get a facial (I know, I know. But I've never had one, or done any of the following three)

20) Get a manicure/pedicure (I'm a rubbish girl)

21) Get my eyebrows waxed (No, I really really am)

22) Get a spray tan (Seriously, just change my name to Bob, shave my head and stick me in a pair of dungarees)

23) Learn how to make the perfect lasagne

24) Take a life drawing class

25) Go kickboxing

26) Finally see a sunrise at Glastonbury. I've been five times but never quite managed it, usually passing out about 10 minutes before the sun is due to come up. (completed 24/06/10 but sadly it was a rubbish sunrise!)

27) Visit at least one European country/city that I've never been to before. (Barcelona, April 2010)

28) Take at least one photograph of myself every day and upload it to the 365 project on Flickr. This starts tomorrow, once the last remnants of this disgusting cold have left my ravaged body. (FAILED)

29) Buy one new CD every month, by a band I've never listened to before. I'm too stuck in my ways and listen to the same songs over and over again, never really leaving my comfort zone.

• November 2009 - Miike Snow by Miike Snow
• December 2009 - XX by The XX
• January 2010 - Manners by Passion Pit
• February 2010 - Sigh No More by Mumford & Sons
• March 2010 - Lights by Ellie Goulding
• April 2010 - Darwin Deez by Darwin Deez
• May 2010 - Colour The Small One by Sia
• June 2010 - Rules by The Whitest Boy Alive
• July 2010 - The Boxer by Kele
• August 2010 - The Flying Club Cup - Beirut
• September 2010 - Fantasies - Metric
• October 2010 - Happiness - Hurts
  

30) Visit the South Lakes Wild Animal Park.

31) Volunteer at Cheshire Dogs Home. Although I fear this will lead to me getting horrendously attached to all the dogs and trying to adopt them all.

32) Visit the Imperial War Museum North. (completed 21/08/10)

33) Watch an opera. Apparently everyone should watch an opera before they die. Any suggestions greatly appreciated.

34) Go to Cloud 23 for afternoon drinks. (completed 30/12/10)

35) Buy some expensive, frivolous underwear just for me.

36) Go to a yoga or pilates class.

37) Walk up Mount Snowdon.

38) Cook a completely new dish at least once a month.

• November 2009 - Jamie Oliver's Southern Sausage Stew; cupcakes
• December 2009 - Lasagne; gingerbread cake; lamb shanks with piperonata; key lime pie
• January 2010 - Spicy pork meatballs
• February 2010 - Chicken Tikka Masala (from scratch)
• March 2010 - Slimming World chips
• May 2010 - Babybel burger; chocolate chip cookies; king prawn and pea risotto
• June 2010 - Lamb cochifrito 
• July 2010 - Raspberry and white chocolate cookies 
• August 2010 - Jamaican corn soup 
• September 2010 - Blackberry crumb bars 
• October 2010 - Treacle toffee; peanut butter & chocolate squares

39) Paint a picture that I'm proud of it, frame it and put it on my wall.

40) Learn to knit.

41) Learn how to make pastry.

42) Move out of my parents' house and into my own place. (completed 10/12/10, after I bought my own house)

43) Finally watch Curb Your Enthusiasm so I can see why everyone loves it so much.

44) Visit the Yorkshire Sculpture Park.

45) Order a cheesecake from the English Cheesecake Company, just because life is wonderful and so is cheesecake. (Ordered a chocolate truffle honeycomb cheesecake for my parents' 40th wedding anniversary. It was incredible)

46) Buy myself something lovely from Emma Bridgewater. I've only been coveting the pottery mugs for about 6 thousand years after all. (Ordered a pink hearts 1/2 pint mug on 08/01/10)

47) Remember each and every one of my friends' birthdays and get them a gift befitting how marvellous they are.

48) Find the beauty in my life at least once a day and cherish it.

49) Go on the Yellow Duckmarine.

50) Go and see a play that I've not seen before. I heart the theatre. (Matthew Bourne's Swan Lake, 01/03/10)


Phew, that was a mission. But there you go, 50 things that, come hell or high water, I hope to have completed before I turn 29. By my reckoning, that gives me about 375 days to complete them which is more than achievable, hopefully. I'm going to put a permanent link to this post in the sidebar and I'll come back and cross things off as I do them.


Go team me!

Scarefest

 

Alton Towers was...


....incredible, tiring, exhilerating, nauseating, terrifying, full of junk food and sodden. Yes, it rained. No, it didn't really matter. I have a marvellous habit of always getting utterly drenched on the log flume so it made no difference to me and my soggy little shoes.

As it's almost Hallowe'en, t'Towers have got their annual Scarefest on at the moment. This translates into pumpkins dotted around the grounds, haunting hooded figures wandering around and liberal doses of dry ice pumping out from various orifices. Plus a few special attractions that aren't normally there. One of these is called 'Terror of the Towers'. I won't say too much in case anyone's planning on going but basically the story is that the Towers have been cursed and you're being sent in to find on what's going on. Cue confined spaces, pitch black and a bit of strobe lighting thrown in for good measure. Plus a few 'extras'. It was quite literally the most terrifying experience of my entire life and genuinely very scary.

The rides are all open until 9pm during Scarefest and, quite frankly, if you've not been on Oblivion in the dark, you've not been on Oblivion. However, the best thing about the entire day? No, not the Burger King (although I do love me a burger). No, it was the fact there were NO KIDS there. And no kids means NO QUEUES.

10/10 Alton Towers. Well done. C'est magnifique.