Avatards

I love Avatar. Really, I do.


I think it's a great film (even better viewed whilst eating a Ben & Jerry's hot fudge sundae). The concept of only taking what you need from the earth and giving back is a very relevant one. The 'war on terror' that the humans wage on the Na'vi in order to mine the Unobtainium (hi, worst name ever) is also very topical.

However, there have been communities set up by people that think they used to be Na'vi. People who actually believe they've been hunters and ridden Ikran. People who claim to have memories of their time on Pandora.

I have but one word for that...


No.


But, if it does turn out to be true then let my introduce myself. I'm a Fourth Generation My Little Pony. My name is Twiglet, I have a brown and white speckled body and long brown hair. I like crisps, marmite and jumping in puddles.

Neigh.

Gluhwein hurts my life

via visitmanchester

I am in pain.


Mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually and any other kind of 'ally' you can think of. It turns out that drinking your body weight in gluhwein will give you one hell of a rotten headache the next morning. In fact, I actually had a headache when I crawled into bed at about one o'clock this morning. Gluhwein is so potent that it actually gives you a hangover before you've even stopped being drunk. The hot, fruity swine.

The Manchester Christmas market is ace, as ever. However, I would not recommend Saturday afternoon as the best time to experience it. Because, by my reckoning, about 90% of the population of the ENTIRE WORLD was there. Trying to cross from the german sausage stall to the gluhwein stall was like playing Frogger: Christmas Market Extreme Edition (that joke is copyright me, 28th November 2009, ayethangyoo). I do not enjoy any place where people are touching me all the time. I'm British, we don't like to be touched. I think I was there for about two hours and during that time I swear I was violated inappropriately on at least 14 separate occasions.


Now I think I need to go back to bed and nurse my wine-ridden face.

Email Schmemail

Does anyone else get sent emails that clearly weren't meant for them?

I get a lot. A lot. Like, at least one a day. Variations of my (non blog) email address are obviously very common but it still irritates me. Even worse is when people have clearly entered their email address wrongly when signing up for something. IDIOTS.


Things I've been sent via email that weren't meant for me:

• The minutes of a Guide and Brownie meeting. It was truly fascinating reading about the 2010 summer camp, I can assure you.
  

• Wedding plans for a West Indian lady's wedding. Again, fascinating, but I really don't mind what colour you choose for the hibiscus in the bride's bouquet.
  

• Mortgage details for a Helen in Wales. Not so fascinating. I really don't care about property in Cardiff. I could have caused some mischief with the details but, thankfully for Helen, I'm not a giant thief.
  

• Mortgage details for some people in Ipswich. Again, yawn.
  

• Financial advice details for a couple in Scotland. Pin numbers and account numbers for a well known bank's online advice service. The tempation to cause mischief again eluded me. Lucky couple in Scotland. Stupid bank.
  

• And, my personal favourite.... A series of emails containing pictures of stool samples, including one of a bloody stool. Or poo, if we're being impolite. I replied and asked, with trepidation, why he was emailing me pictures of fecal matter. The response? "Sorry, I thought I was emailling my friend who's a nurse." Please, I beg of you, if you're ever going to send pictures of your 'produce' to your friend, CHECK THEIR EMAIL ADDRESS.